Fresh Country Air

Entities, Tables and tuples oh my!

2012-01-29T13:03:00.001-04:00

The first month of the year has not been one of health in the Wilawok household. Everyone is sick or has been in some stage of degraded health over the last few weeks. The wife is still sick, and maybe sicker than she was a week ago. The X man is on the mend and doing better, but I dont think any of us are out of the woods until everyone is healthy. We should take a queue from the news clips we see on TV of the Japanese subway system with everyone wearing masks-at least until the colds and ills are done-maybe until spring.
I've begun my first (and only) class of the spring semester last week and I can easily say that I have no earthly idea what I'm doing. The class title sounds harmless enough-Data Management. But, that, is what the marketing world calls false advertising. Data management is all about Databases, database structures and how databases are built, displayed and maintained. Our first assignment focused on a group of brothers running a circus and I needed to build them a database that they could use to manage their circus business. It literally felt like someone pushed me out of a plane, backwards, without a parachute. Then they threw me the parachute a few seconds later. Im fumbling with the parachute as Im in a free fall while trying to catch it, strap it on and read the instructions before I hit the ground-or by Monday when the assignment was due. While databases are interesting to me, and I definitely want to know how they work, I'd rather keep my distance from them. I'd rather appreciate them from afar. I am however, locked into the course and to quote a scene from the move"300" "This will not be over quickly....you will not enjoy this..."

Back in the Saddle...but the seat is too tight

2012-01-15T21:57:00.002-04:00

What a week! I've been invited (challenged) to a bike ride/race at the end of May by one of my buddies and I heartily accepted the challenge. The Gran Fondo NY is supposed to be very much like the European bike rides, except its going to be with a bunch of my favorite NY/NJ'ers. I assume that I will be one in a cast of thousands that will take the 65 mile trek across the George Washington Bridge and up the Hudson Valley. Of course, I've got a lot of training to do (and equipment to purchase) before we get there, but after all the work I'll have no choice but to ride the ride and say I did it-and hopefully not damage myself too much in the meantime. I also figure that the time spent indoors on the bike trainers will give me a much needed break from running on a crummy treadmill at the gym.
Speaking of crummy and break, I spent a part of my day yesterday shopping for jeans with my wife and child. To say that I'd rather have my shoulders dislocated rather than go jeans shopping is an understatement. I think we have a fundamental disagreement on what constitutes a "good fit." For me, my comfort is my style. For my wife my style is 'Grandpa chic' and thinks I should wear something more stylish and fitted. To me fitted means too snug in the seat and I refuse to have a piece of clothing that close to me. I need my space-especially when it comes to my jeans. I just want to feel comfortable and jeans should be about comfort. We finally agreed to disagree and I walked away with some "pappy pants" and I got a good deal on them to boot! Jeepers.

Don't Call It a Comeback....

2012-01-03T20:08:00.002-04:00

Wow, has it really been four months since my last post? Well hopefully there's been good reason-and my loyal readers will forgive me for being detained over the last few months with a steadily growing preoccupation. Literally, this preoccupation a.ka. my son has taken the wife and I on a roller coaster unlike any we've been on before. What I once knew as tired has been completely redefined in my dictionary. What once was frustration, has also been modified and confusion, well don't get me started. However, I'd also have to redefine amazement, satisfaction, pride and wonder as I've watched the little guy grow over the last five months. Its seems like such a short time, yet its also seen like an eternity as I can't quite remember "did he wake up three times or four?" "Oh wait, that was last night." Nothing puts your mind in a mixer like a kid, and I've already learned many lessons courtesy of the "X man." One of them-be flexible. Don't get too comfortable with anything, but things are always changing-sometimes daily so you have to be flexible and patient. Secondly, be brief. There's no time for long drawn out soliloquies and flowing emails long on thought and words. Or else, I'll end up writing one blog a quarter, or less. So, my "plan" for my blogs at least for now is to keep it short, simple, but hopefully not stupid. Oh, and Happy New Year's everyone!

Come on Irene...& Termination

2011-08-28T22:27:00.003-03:00

Well this was certainly an interesting few weeks, not for the fact that Xavi crossed the 10 lb. threshold, but that Hurricane Irene decided to roll into the northeast this weekend and disrupt an otherwise quiet weekend. What started as humorous little quip between my Florida associates and I escalated into a pretty serious event for the northeast. Poughkeepsie seemed to fair better than the surrounding areas. The only loss in the Kowaliw household was the Philips electric toothbrush that somehow went missing between hotels as we moved from one hotel that lacked a generator to another. Its a shame, both Vanessa and I have a strong affinity for our electric toothbrush. If New York receives federal aid for a State emergency I might ponder submitting a claim for that toothbrush-it wasnt cheap.

But onto more important things-termination. The last week seems to be all about termination. I dont think I've ever done more terminating than I'm in the process of doing right now. It started with a surprise termination of a vendor of ours at work, and then I thought I might as well keep the ball rolling with another vendor termination that has been somewhat overdue. As I finished putting the final touches on my second termination letter I got to thinking about how much I'd like to do some terminating in my personal life. I'd like to terminate my printer for having an irreparable document feeder. I'd like to terminate my dishwasher for having a poor interior layout. I'm thinking of terminating my alarm clock because it should still work correctly after having it for only a few months and the buttons are too loud when you click them. I am literally going to terminate the tenant in my home in Cleveland, and I'd like to terminate the city of Cleveland itself for having continual low property values and a penchant for not doing anything to improve it. Termination feels good-I highly recommend you try it.

Feeding Frenzy

2011-08-07T15:50:00.002-03:00

Well we've made it past the two week mark with Xavi and I'm happy to announce that we havent caused him any irreparable harm or damage. The pediatrician in fact, confirmed that he's actually doing pretty well for an infant under the care of first time parents. That was a huge relief for both Vanessa and I, and it certainly makes us feel like we arent complete failures as parents. The boy can eat, sometimes ravenously, and I'm amazed at how he attacks his meals. It reminds me of the suction on one of the lottery machines when it pulls the ping pong ball into the chamber. I wouldnt say Xavi (aka Mr. Chompers) is any hungrier than any other baby, but then again I dont have anything to compare it to, so I assume the kid just eats....a lot. I can remember back to my teenage years and it makes me fear for our grocery bill once he really starts growing.
Thinking about Xavi's caloric intake reminds me of trips to my grandmother's house as a kid. She showed love through food, and boy did she love me. Meal time was epic at her house. Breakfast in particular was an event for me. Upon waking up and sitting down at the kitchen table, I'd immediately get a bowl of cream of wheat with plenty of milk and plenty of honey. It was light and delicious. While I ate that up with a chunky spoon she was hard at work making eggs, bacon or sausage (usually both) and toast on her homemade bread. I dont know what was happening on that stove, but by the time the eggs and meat came out, the griddle was starting to sizzle with the sound of pancake or waffle batter. She might sprinkle in some fruit (frutt as she would pronounce it) that she sliced and jarred on her own.
By this point I was about ready to push away from the table, but I knew that I needed to finish the race. I would try to divide and conquer the massive plates of food, but usually I would fail and end up throwing in the napkin. I knew that I had to recover quickly though, because I could already hear the refrigerator open and a BLT being assembled. Round 2!

Better Words for Thank You...

2011-07-24T16:32:00.004-03:00

It was Thursday July 20th 2011 where the family expanded to include one new member. Xavier or XLK is living proof that I have spawned and added another life to the planet. I cant even begin to retell the tale that encompassed Xavi's arrival into the world, but it had all the makings of a Shakespearean five act play. Maybe some of the middle parts were switched around but hopefully you get the idea. There were a lot of great supporting actors and actresses that made this all happen including some wonderful nurses that couldn't possibly understand how grateful we were for their help and guidance. I think the words "Thank you" probably get watered down to them since they hear it all the time-at least I hope they do after they coach a women through getting a 7 pound bowling ball out of their body so I really wish I had a better set of words to describe our gratitude. But the leading role played by my wife was the most impressive of all. She actually had to play numerous roles sometimes simultaneously, and all were completely award worthy. I think bravery was probably the biggest badge that she earned over the last nine + months. The amount and type of changes to my wife's body were amazing and wonderful.....and easily appreciated because I wasn't going through them personally. The big day for us was mainly built off of her strength and courage and that definitely deserves more than a thank you. I have a new found respect for my wife and all that she did to bring a new life into this world, and Im amazed that she's put up with me through all this. I know there were some points where I might have been the focal point, or the guide who was able to pick up a fact or tidbit about the deluge of information we received over the last nine months, but she's the one who went out on stage, performed and should get to take the bow after the curtain call.

Pair A' Dimes

2011-06-20T23:26:00.003-03:00

I've got to get this post out of my brain but as some of you know, I've had a few things going on. We are hurtling head first (hopefully for Baby K) into parenthood. The office pool is up over three digits and I'm so happy I made everyone throw in a Lincoln, rather than a meaningless single. Vanessa was actually propositioned by a co-worker of mine to conspire with her to split the winnings if she pushed Xavi out on the date chosen by her. Of course, only one person knows when Xavi is coming out, but everyone else is welcome to bet. The due date is July 9th so we'll see what transpires, and no the doctor did not give us a time, so please stop asking. I've picked the 17th of July as my date and I'm doing everything possible, to make sure I win, including talking to Vanessa's belly to make sure Xavi knows that he needs to hang out a little longer if he wants to share the winnings with me. Its never too early to learn about bribery.

If you were checking in for the baby update you can close out your browser and change your search now. I'm going to get to the part of my blog where I explain the title of this post. Well, "explain" is a bit strong of a word. I'm sure you can figure it out after I tell you that I've made a decision. I've decided that I'm going to run as long as possible. This doesn't seem very prophetic, but if you were ever in my brain you might have heard that my time running was finite. I would only run as long as I could stay healthy. My only hope was to get back down into the 18's for a 5k and then switch into some other sport as both of my knees spontaneously combusted. Its been about twenty years since I've started running, and probably about 15 years that I've seriously been running. I've been through a few ebbs and breaks during this time, but I always seem to come back to running. So why fight it? But instead of thinking I should run my legs off as soon as possible, I need to change my frame of mind. If running is going to be a lifelong companion, then I shouldnt beat myself up for not running for a week due to a sore achilles. I shouldnt try and blow the doors off every run and then beat myself up when I have a poor run. I might be unfaithful to running and try some other sports like bicycling or tennis, but I can always come back to running. I always have, and in all likelihood, always will.

15.9 Tons

2011-05-08T23:45:00.002-03:00

Tennessee Ernie Ford almost had it right. I was under 16 tons, and what did I get? Another day older....well you know the rest, maybe. Well as of 10pm this evening I owe my soul to one less company "store." My last paper of my last class has been submitted and signed off upon-which reminds me that I have to check my email to make sure my paper actually posted. With this submission I have finished all classes and requirements to complete my certificate in Executive Leadership. That and 99 cents will get me a copy of Ernie Fords hit on iTunes. On the good side, I know I can handle Graduate classes and the work that comes with it. I'm also happy that I've been able to multi-task successfully, or at least carry my motivation to do work home from the office. It's not something I have really enjoyed motivating myself to do, but I'm glad to know I can do it. But, just like Cool Hand Luke taking the lashes like a man, I'd rather not have to go through them at all. This is why I'm just glad to have the class over with. I'm not looking back and we'll see what happens when its time to look forward to any future classes. I think my plate will runneth over in the next few weeks. We're two months away from the big arrival and we cannot wait for the big day, whenever it arrives. We're probably just replacing one ton for another.

Keep on Waiting for a Blade to Shave

2011-04-26T07:49:00.002-03:00

I'm going to lightly tread past the fact that I havent posted anything since February and just chalk it up to businesses with my business as well as exciting developments on the home front. Baby Xavi (Jav-ee) or Mr. X for the "Arrested Development" fan in me, is continuing to mature. Weighing in at a hefty 2.5 lbs and over a foot long, he's really been more active than I expected him to be which is fun. Vanessa has to deal with the gravitational pull of her stomach, as hands continue to get pushed onto her stomach, but Xavi seldom disappoints and will usually perform on queue, with a swift kick (we assume) or fist bump-a la Jersey Shore. Its a weird time, in that things seem to be developing so fast, yet it seems like we still have so far to go in such a short amount of time.
For those of you that don't know, I've also entered into a new stage of my life. I am now shaving with a single bladed razor. I know, I know, the decision was not made lightly. I did my usual procrastination and reviewing to see if it was really right for me, or if I wanted to justify the big expenditure for all the equipment. I guess I've been shaving "retro" for about three months and could say with certainty that I don't hate it. The first couple times I was just trying not to pull a Sweeney Todd on myself (hopefully the metaphor will save me the need to go into gruesome detail). But now, I think Im making progress. One tip that the pros dont tell you (but your wife probably will) take short strokes. This is no three blade razor that will allow you to shave from sideburn to neck nape. You've got to move in short, deliberate strokes. Forget the commercials where the guy has the razor reversed and runs it from his adams apple to his chin. That type of behavior with the single blade will land you in the hospital. I've also taken to the badger hair brush and pre-shave oil. It adds a few more minutes to the prep, but its also made it something I almost look forward to-almost.

Soft Batch

2011-02-26T10:49:00.002-04:00

This is somewhat of a confessional blog this time around, but I don't care. I'm finally in a place in my life where I'm going to admit I'm all about this season's Bachelor. Past Bachelor season's have merely been a passing fancy, but Mondays now have a new meaning to me as I get to see who Brad is going to send home next. I find myself yelling at the TV while he continually gets bamboozled by Michelle (who he finally sent home) or realizes that making the women pose for Swimsuit photos isnt a good idea for a group date (he's actually a bit of a wimp when the women start spatting). I'm hooked, and already depressed thinking that this is going to be all over a few short weeks from now. I am at the edge of my seat waiting for the "Women tell all" segment. I wont lie, the women dont hurt my eyes, which makes the show easier to tolerate. But the train wreck is too much to look away from, so I've just decided to let go and succumb to the guilty pleasures of the show.
All continues to go well with Baby K. We know that Baby K is a boy now, and that was a lot of fun to experience. It's all pretty surreal, but I can say that I'm glad we found out when we did. I think I'll have more than enough excitement to get me through until the birth of my son. I just wanted to write that out to see how it looked-I like it.

El Nino is Brewing

2011-02-14T23:48:00.004-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, we've got boy on our hands. While Im mildly concerned about people saying "We're so glad you're having a boy, you'll like it better" I'm trying to just take the news and put it all in perspective. It certainly make things more real as we now call Vanessa's little lump a "he" and its pretty exciting that we've truly cut our name list in half. Although, we definitely need a girl's name as a backup in case our sonographer got her license on the black market. I will say that of all the medical professionals we've dealt with she's probably been the best. She's indulged our first time parent hysterics, shared in our excitement, and even played along as we saw Baby K, but didnt give away the sex of the child while we were there. Instead, she wrote Baby K's gender on a piece of paper for our get together with our families the next day. We appreciated her interest, even if its just acting. Then again, that's probably what makes her so good at her job. If I could tip her I would.
As we continue to spread the good word about Baby K's arrival, I'm impressed by the level of questions that some people have. Its in stark contrast to the situations where I find out about someone having a baby. What I thought was being unassuming by not asking questions, I realize that we've appreciated everyone's interest in what's going on with us-mainly Vanessa. I've been trying to take notes for the next time I hear about someone being pregnant. I realize that I have a lot of work to do on my way to being Mr. Understanding.

The Reveal

2011-02-12T19:13:00.002-04:00

T minus 15 minutes until we find out if Baby K is a boy or a girl. This is really exciting. We have Vanessa's parents in the house-literally and my parents and Vanessa's sister standing by on Skype for the big reveal. We asked our Sonographer (like its a haircut) if they could show us the pictures of Baby K on the screen, but don't tell us if its a bambino or bambina. She was great, at granting our request. It also didnt hurt that she was pregnant either. Baby K is very well, but didnt want to stay put long enough for the sonographer to get a good look at its spine. We saw all the other appendages and filanges. All the basics were there, and that's what we were most happy about. Now, its just a few minutes away from the envelope opening-literally. Hopefully this will cut down the 100,001 thousand names Vanessa needs to look through to about 50,000.5.

Finally A Good trip to the Doctor's Office

2011-01-23T23:11:00.003-04:00

While traveling to the doctor for Vanessa's checkup, both her and I were lamenting over the sour look on so many people's faces. Everyone pretty much looks like they either took a big drag on a lemon wedge or just got punched in the gut. I guess its pretty hard to be excited about any doctors visit unless its of the maternity persuasion. Even then, the circumstances can lead to less than cheerful pretenses. For us, most doctors visits have been mostly exciting as we continue to make our way toward warmer months, and the arrival of Baby K. By the way, Vanessa and I are expecting. I dont know if that's proper english, but I'm going to use it for lack of having something more descriptive to write. I think the implication of the sentence says it all-and pretty much everyone knows what you're talking about. Unlike saying "There's something in there" that could result in a whole bunch of assumptions, the "We're expecting" pretty much says it all.
Our visit to the doctor, this time as well as others in the past four months went perfectly. The original anxiety has led to more happiness and excitement as we continue to pass weekly and monthly milestones. We've finally announced our new addition (not New Edition, although some of their names are on the table) to most of the important players. We started strong with our plan to surprise people, but quickly lost steam over the holidays. People's reactions spanned from shock, excitement and breathlessness, to complete lack of shock and knowing. It turns out that just blurting out the news led to the best results. I do worry about a friend of mine that didn't return my phone message speaking of exciting news. Things got a bit more concerning when I sent the friend a digital sonogram picture with the words "maybe this will get you to call me back." That message went unanswered as well so I hope he's either switched his number or is mountain climbing in Patagonia. I even "came out" to my online Grad School class. Why not I figure.

Man vs. Driveway

2010-12-29T20:36:00.005-04:00

Mother nature welcomed us back from our travels last week with a healthy dose of post Christmas snow. Man and his technology added to the two feet of snow we got from Mother nature and added another foot of crispy winter goodness on top-kind of like a holiday cookie. I wasnt worried though. I was prepared,, or so I thought, with some technology of my own. The Toro snow blower brought in from out of state should have made quick work of the white stuff, that is of course if it would have started. After about 10 minutes futzing around with trying to get the hulking giant to wake up I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to use more archaic methods which involved the use of a (sigh) shovel.
Every scoop of the white stuff brought me back to winters of my childhood. The seemingly massive driveway also known as the "afternoon ender" or "heartbreaker" took all the life out of me, especially as a youngster. It was pretty much like shoveling a football field with a beach rake. As much as I hated it as a kid, I think that shoveling the driveway is a right of passage for every young boy-unless you live in the south of course, then you end up digging out a basement I guess. But having the opportunity to shovel my driveway really gave me a sense of accomplishment; especially since it was really my driveway this time. It didnt hurt that I was wearing some swanky technical clothing that kept me warm and toasty-unlike the blue jeans I wore as a kid (mom, that isnt a reflection on you-I didnt bundle up like you told me too).

Oh, by the way-its a lot easier to start a snowblower when the power outlet is active and the little RESET button is pushed DOWN. Just because Im a grown up, doesnt mean that I think like one.

I'm Not Against Keeping My Pants On

2010-12-13T23:17:00.003-04:00

As we enter the winter season, my running has taken on new meaning. It isnt about running my best, or even feeling good on a run, its about getting something in that resembles running. If I can make it through the winter by stringing together a few runs every week I'll be quite happy with myself. I give myself even more bonus points for running outside. This is one of those events where I feel like I've matured. Back when I was young and not so bright, I found it a badge of honor to run outside in the cold with shorts on. I would bundle waist up, but hips and below I'd let it go. "The legs don't get cold" I would say, and the horrified looks from passer's by as I ran by would fuel me on my runs. The colder the better too. In college I had a friend that made it through an entire West Virginia winter without wearing anything more than shorts. I dont think he had veins in his legs and had legs of a bird.
But its a different world now. Motivation is tougher to come by these days, and anything that can get me out the door, whether it be pants, and iPod or a shot of whiskey is fair game if it means that I can get a run in. I'll pay my dues to the running gods when the warmer months come around.

The Blacker the Berry & "In Lieu" Gets Me In Hot Water

2010-11-22T20:23:00.003-04:00

I couldnt help myself. Verizon practically begged me to take the not-so-new smartphone from the company Research In Motion (RIM) the producers of the Blackberry product line. Danny from Verizon said all the right things, like my last name correctly, and how much I'd like the new phone and how it was...free.
The Blackberry Bold is supposed to be everything the Curve was, but better. Better screen, faster video, better camera, easier to use interface-and web capability. For the first time ever, Im supposed to have the power of the Internet in my hand, or on my nerdy belt clip. After a night of re-aquainting myself to the phone's additional heft I have to say, I'm not disappointed. The learning curve is rather quick, especially since it feels like its a part of me now. The typing is actually better, much to the behest of my wife. Overall, I'll give it two thumbs way up-and I promise that I wasnt paid to give such an endorsement
Any chance I had of reconciliation with my feuding classmate was dashed last week during one of our team projects. Apparently "In Lieu" doesnt mean what I thought it meant. I thought it meant "until something" it actually means "instead of." Figuring myself to be the ultimate wordsmith I thought nothing of it, but yet again I was accused of over strategizing and changing the plan of attack for our group assignment. I received another written lashing and belittlement. Im beyond worrying about it at this point, since I obviously cant win for losing. Que sera sera!

Blown Away....but not by Sleepy Hollow

2010-10-31T21:02:00.002-03:00

The latest tool to my outdoor shed was added last Friday with the purchase of the Toro Leaf Blower with Vacuum attachment. I almost went for the gas powered backpack but the Mrs. thought that it would only increase my nerdiness and I also figured that I couldnt do too much damage with a corded machine that didnt have any ability to cut, sheer, slice or break anything. Armed with the 204 mph vortex generator I unleashed the fury on the front yard. The blower made quick work of the fallen maple leaves....and ones that hadn't quite fallen, but found themselves off the tree once I pointed the blower skyward. It was a pretty neat feeling to have this wind generator pushing the leaves into somersaults as they ended up on the curb in front of the house. Electrical cord management was a little challenging, but not any more so than dealing with the vacuum (something that should come in a gas powered option). The sucker/mulching capability was ok, but not something I could see getting a lot of use out of unless I was scaring away trick or treaters. I was impressed and pleased with myself and my ability to make the purchase. I really felt like I was "king of the castle" since the last time I was in charge of the leaves I had to rake them up myself at the request of my father. I think he had a leaf blower but made me rake the leaves anyway as a way to teach me some sort of lesson. Don't worry Dad, lesson learned....wait for the sale at Home Depot then strike!

As impressed as I was with my new Leaf Blower was how unimpressed I was with our trip to Sleepy Hollow NY. How much easier does it get to attract tourist (aka freaks) to the town. I think the residents in Sleepy Hollow were too cool for people dressed up in costumes-mainly me, my wife, niece and nephew. The block party was mediocre. The hayride was weak, and the cemetery was too hilly (I had to come up with something). So to the people of Sleepy Hollow, NY I say "Suck a pumpkin!"

Am I a tease?

2010-10-17T11:16:00.005-03:00

I find myself to be an extremely reasonable and tolerant person. I think most people would describe me in the same way and say I'm a pretty laid back in general. I've found very few people that I cant get along with (in fact, I really think of only one that comes to mind). Well, Im at risk of doubling that number. In my current class I think I've met my new adversary. Let me, as they say on the talk shows, set the clip up for you.
We're in the midst of our team project for my Graduate class with 6 other people investigating some financial scandal. Being that we all work remotely and I've never spoken to any of these people, its already a challenge to coordinate effort and how we'll compile our work into one cohesive paper. There seems to be a disconnect on how we should do the work. One thought is that everyone should do the assignment on their own and then share their answers. The other thought is that we should break up the assignment into chunks and then everyone discusses it on our forum (something our instructor has strongly recommended). Our group is still struggling with how to do these assignments and this, matched with some strong personalities has really made it tough to work together. I offered to take the lead on compiling one of the questions but asked one of my teammates (we'll call him George) to separate out his completed assignment into the framework of the three questions asked by the professor. George has been particularly outspoken about his preferred method of doing these assignments and feels like everyone should do the full assignment on their own, then join up later in the week to discuss. I still dont know his solution on how we would combine the paper. Anyway, here is his response:

Response removed

Ooh Wee George! It sounds like someone rejected your graduate school application! But instead of brushing this off Im starting to question how reasonable of a person I am. Thinking back, maybe I have soured people from what I thought were their own reasons, but maybe I'm missing something. Maybe I'm not as straight forward with people as I should be and then down the road I end up having to do something that seems strange to them. I think about this when I deal with potential vendors for my company. Maybe I come off as nice and they think they have a chance to do business with us. For one reason or another the partnership falls through and they feel like they were led on. Maybe Im not setting appropriate expectations with vendors or other people I deal with. Then again, is it my fault that these people have unrealistic expectations? I think my takeaway from this is 1. I'm not as likable as I thought I was 2. I need to set clear expectations for people I work with 3. Its good to be on the other side of having something that people want, but I shouldnt take advantage of them

This Lawn needs a haircut

2010-10-09T23:55:00.003-03:00

I've been spending a lot of time working on the lawn lately. Not that I have a lot of free time, but I feel like this is something that I at least have a little control over. Also, my past life as a Green Thumberer (not a metaphor) makes me feel like I can handle these types of job. So when I cranked up the dethatcher this afternoon and started running tines through my lawn like like a realized that running the dethatcher through my lawn was like the barber running the clippers over my head I took a sick pleasure in ripping through my grass. The demolition of the lawn was cathartic and invigorating all at the same time. Its a shame that something like that should only be done every few years.

Speaking of punishment, I took my first test GMAT last night. That thing ripped through me like the dethatcher through my lawn, and the tines were set to the lowest setting. It was extra exciting to realize that if a company has to test 5 percent of its Spring Water and 10 percent of its mineral water and someone needs to buy 200 cases of water with 120 cases being Spring Water and 80 cases of mineral water than I still have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing to get this problem answered. The beauty of the GMAT is that as you get more questions right, the harder the questions get. So as I entered the final stretch of the analytic section of the GMAT I was a bit insulted that the last question was easier and shorter than the first. Something about the number of days of the week or months that end in "gust" made me confident that I completely botched the first part of this test. The verbal section of the test was a little easier but I still felt like the test was taunting me. At least I'm finished with the drudgery and can look forward to the double digit score.

Maturation or Domestication?

2010-09-16T23:05:00.003-03:00

Over the last few weeks I've been sensitive to an ever growing fact; either I'm growing up or growing more domesticated (e.g. house trained). I try to take a good hard look at each event to determine if each action is based on my ever increasing knowledge base or if its just a matter of having a significant other much more tuned into the world than I am. See what you think of some recent examples
1. Buying a pair of "Seasonal shoes" (meaning you cant wear them for the entire year).
1a. Seasonal sport coats
2. Bringing a trail map with me while running on new trails. I don't get lost, but the map is rather bulky and the corners jab at my legs while I run.
3. Wearing a bracelet that has my personal information on it in case something happens to me while I'm out running-pretty similar to "Life Alert"
4. Going against the majority and saying that "Polo Blue" is too dark for our bedroom
5. Knowing what color "Polo Blue" really looks like
6. Having extended discussions with my dad about lawn care, square footage and dethatching
7. Putting some deodorizer thing in my truck so my truck doesnt smell so bad
8. Agreeing to go to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy the deodorizer thing
9. Having a wife that will tolerate this list, and will hopefully give me more examples

All these things were not in my wheel house a few years ago. America, what do you think?

Camp Seanessa & Fore or Eight

2010-08-23T23:14:00.007-03:00

Without much fanfare I entered by 12th year in the working world. I had a hard time remembering what year I graduated, then had a tougher time trying to remember where I spent each year of my post collegiate experience (the Cleveland years seemed to be the most fuzzy). Time keeps rip roaring past me, especially as I look at the date of my last blog entry. Life just seems to whip by without much notice or pause. One day I'm staring at my first day of college, the next thing I know I'm sitting in my home in Poughkeepsie, NY watching DVR with my wife. What happened in between is mainly a blur, but there have certainly been some memorable events that have kept me moving. New Jersey, Florida, New York, House, apartment, apartment, another apartment, another house. It doesn't seem like it should all fit into such a short amount of time. I always feel like I could have done more with the time, but am really lucky and blessed to have made it this far and have accomplished so much as to not regret any of my decisions.

Speaking of big accomplishments, "Camp Seanessa" was in full effect last week. We had a blast with my niece and nephew as they were the inaugural attendees. I was just happy that neither child was injured, malnourished, or screaming to go home. I really have to thank Google for keeping my nephew (e.g. "The Brain) honest. He bested me with his comment that the Taconic State Parkway went to Albany (its east, but close enough). But I was able to successfully prove that the machine gun was not invented in Brazil-actually it was England. He might still be right on the 5th Beatle being the drummer, but I'm going to call that a draw until I speak to my uncle for final confirmation.

My first round of golf also came and went in a slow motion blur last week. I don't see much of a future in it for me, especially since I don't have the 4+ hours each week to dedicate to it. But I will say that I enjoyed the time out there looking for my golf ball or balls as I proceeded to go through about a dozen of them. Forget about keeping score, I was just trying to either 1. Make contact with something other than the ground or my shin 2. keep track of where my ball sailed off to in the woods 3. Not be that guy that slices the ball so badly it hits someone else in the group. I think I accomplished most of those goals, but the bar wasn't very high to begin with. I can say with certainty that I didn't have any new found talent for the game (which secretly I was hoping for). The best I can hope for is to practice hard, hit the driving range a lot, get a lot of clubs.....or just stick to running.

Settling In With Team Jacob & a Runner in my Neighborhood

2010-07-02T20:15:00.005-03:00

As the week comes to a close we find ourselves closer to finding some sanity in our new home. The one bedroom apartment with the office in our bedroom is becoming a fuzzy memory although I always enjoyed stumbling over my office chair as I make my way to the bathroom in the mornings. Getting my own set of garbage cans is a nice plus as well but now I have to remember to take out the garbage every Tuesday-and point the wheels away, and keep the container 2 feet away from the driveway, but I, as they say, digress. I'm going to say that on the whole all is well on the home front.
I'm going to assume that I'm fully recovered from my traumatic trip into the city a few weeks ago. It wasn't so much the trip but the destination which was also the destination for about 200 screaming teenage women....and my wife and her friend for the third installation of the Twilight Saga. I will be objective enough and say that the latest offering from Stephanie Meyer brought to the big screen by Hollywood was the best of the three movies. It still isnt saying much, but I can say I was entertained, thanks in part to the help of Mr. Sam Adams and my good buddy weiser (during the movie no less). What bothers me most is that this isn't my first Twilight inspired blog. By the way, Team Jacob.
I've also been wasting time, but less time I guess, giving our new DVR a solid workout. I dont know how this little piece of television heaven escaped me, but I'm watching TV in a whole new way. There's been more than one occasion where I've been out somewhere and wished I could rewind something I just saw, but realize that this is just "ordinary" TV. Its really extremely lazy actually. How much easier is it going to get to watch TV? Maybe I can lay in my bed with a TV floating over me and flip the channels by blinking my eyes-its getting out of control.
One last discussion topic-and I'll have more on this as it progresses-but I've got another runner in my neighborhood. This guy is an old school runner and he's probably built out of a piece of raw iron. I dont really know how to act when I run by him. We usually are running in opposite directions which makes it awkward when we pass each other multiple times in the same morning. I dont know if I should introduce myself or just continue to say hi and just leave it at that. Should I see if the guy wants to run with me? Should I check to see if he's housing small animals in his chest length beard? I dont know. Like I said, to be continued.

A Fresh New Look and a Ponderance about Driving Habits

2010-06-20T21:21:00.003-03:00

Now that the blog has reached the ripe old age of 1.3 years old I thought I would give it a bit of a face lift to keep things fresh. It took all of three minutes and it made me feel good that I could make at least one style decision without first asking the wife. With the recent home purchase, there are very few if any decisions are simple decisions. Just ask the folks at the Benjamin Moore paint store (how many colors of blue could there possibly be? Please don't answer that). Any issue that concludes with a unilateral decision feels pretty good right now.

The running seems to be going pretty well, or really bad-I can't quite tell. I've been zoning out on some of my runs lately, which either means I'm in pretty good shape so I can multi-task, or I'm feeling so bad that my mind is trying to distract itself. While I was finishing up a run I noticed a "less than living" animal smack dab in the middle of the road (some folks might call it road kill, or dinner). I'm not surprised by that, but what did surprise me was how many motorists would swerve around the piece of road kill rather than try to straddle it with their automobile. There were a few cars that actually swerved into the oncoming lane of traffic to avoid the freshly dead animal. It brings me back to a lesson my dad once taught me when I was learning how to drive. I have to paraphrase the lesson, but bottom line-it's us or them and if you care for your car or other motorists then it better be them. Plus, I like the challenge of trying to straddle objects in the road, as long as I can pull it off. This quasi-field experiment is a new addition to other running pastimes like counting how many people are on their cell phones while they drive or if I can guess what car is coming up behind me while Im running just by the sound of the car.

I think I've just depressed myself, so let me end on a cynical note. I loathe the people that clap once a plane lands. I understand that some trips may include some turbulence or delays, but clapping is just obnoxious and if poorly placed it makes you look like an amateur flyer. It's like you're the guy still using the "waazzuup" phrase looking to fight someone because you think your sports team is better than theirs. I'm not speaking from personal experience, but how about those Mets?!

This Gift Horse Needs a Checkup

2010-05-18T21:01:00.002-03:00

Final grades for my class came out this weekend. I was amazed that the papers and grades came back so quickly. The feedback was certainly unique, but I guess can't completely complain..I almost go the A (guess the movie). I was told that the organization of my paper was unique, and not what he (the professor) would normally prescibed, but it really worked. What's amusing was that I basically wrote each section based on the guidelines of the professor. I guess his amnesia was my gain. I also got a 100% participation grade for my online posts. My first thought is that it's impossible to be perfect at anything so a perfect score is a cop out for anyone that doesn't want to push too hard on a moderately talented student. Bob Barker never gave away the dollar at the Big Wheel. No one gets them all right on Jeopardy. They don't usually give tens out on "Dancing With the Stars ." Success is a very poor teacher and I want some constructive feedback darn it! As I say that I think about how much I sweated out my midterm grades thinking that I should drop the class. I guess I should just leave well enough alone.
We also had a momentous occasion this Monday when I made our last student loan payment. We are now free from the yoke of debt and despair. Some people get their loans paid off in a few years and some never pay them off. I took the middle road (big surprise), although I could have probably accelerated things a bit. I wish the Student Loan company would send me something congratulating me for my achievement, but all I get is...well I don't get anything. Maybe one less bill is thanks enough.

Summer Better Than Others

2010-05-02T22:52:00.002-03:00

I was unpleasantly surprised to find out that there is a summer class offering at the college where I'm taking my business classes. I was almost hoping that I could take the summer off, but the mature thing to do is buck up and take the class sooner. Once I get this class done, I'll be that much closer to getting through the next course which means I can get my piece of paper saying that I've given the school $8,000. I'm being a bit too cynical. The course I'm taking now has been great-with a lot of real world applications. In fact, I pilfered some of the material and used it at work to impress my co-workers. But, I think I made a mistake in that I evaluated my professor before I got my final grade. I'd hope that the survey was anonymous, but who am I kidding? I've brought fame to the "anonymous" survey. I'm king of the anonymous survey in that I expect to know who the survey is coming from. How else can I get a good idea about the feedback being legit or not? Plus, I just like giving feedback. I took about three surveys so far this weekend-one that warned me not to make any plans for the next 30 minutes, but did offer a $100 honorarium (I had to wikipedia that to make sure the money went to the charity of Sean). I used the facilities, filled up my coffee and went to work. Then I bashed Jonathan, a Customer Service Rep at Dell while praising Andrew another Rep at Dell for cleaning up Jonathan's messy handling of a laptop issue. I polished things off with the Class Evaluation. Maybe I was on a roll and feeling good-but I think I'm going to get singled out for doing the evaluation before I get my final grade. I guess we'll see how well the professor takes the feedback that I thought he was lazy and unprepared for the class. Even if I get a lower grade, I still think its worth it. It brings me back to a class in college where the professor told me that "I was basically keeping the seat warm." At first I was offended and confused, but eventually I appreciated it and decided to borrow that for my own repertoire. In my few years teaching class as well as taking more classes I've been on the lookout for people sliding by or "keeping the seat warm" and I've tried my best to do more than just warm the bottom of the seat. I need a few more of those to round out the Old Man routine Mrs. Wilawok loves so much!

What does the "T" in T-Shirt stand for?

2010-04-24T21:50:00.002-03:00

As I was contemplating my clothing change over for Spring 2010 I couldnt help but reminisce about some old T-Shirts that I still own, and then lament over whether or not they should go into the trash or donate heap. Any runner is going to have a fair amount of T-shirts, even if they aren't very good-so naturally I've kept a heaping helping of them. Here are just a few of my favorites.

-The Anheuser Busch Half Marathon T-Shirt date unknown. It was my first half marathon, (and rumor has it my first beer-so luckily no date on the shirt). What I love about this shirt is that its probably the oldest of the old T-shirts and it was one of my first long sleeve T-Shirts so it automatically gave me street credibility with my running peers. I also think I ran a pretty good race there to boot. Second Place goes to a mysterious Long Sleeve T-Shirt that I picked up while coaching at St. Ignatius. Don't know where it came from and I'll probably lose it some day to the abyss of rotating T-Shirts.
-The mysterious white T-Shirt. On the front in Old English script "House of Pain" (although some mistake it for "House of Pam." On the back it states "Are you ready, let's get craxy." Only a privileged few know the significance of the spelling error-many more know how ridiculous this looks on me since I get more coverage wearing a Zip Lock bag. The things is almost down to threads, but I love it.
-The Gun Show Shirt: My Cleveland Marathon T-Shirt circa 2000. I cut the sleeves off in defiance and probably some sacrilege to the marathon purists. It was my first and last marathon, but I like to break it out every so often for that Clevelan' Feelin' (which could mean a lot of things I guess). Second Place goes to the First Annual Wheeling Jesuit Cross Country Alumni Race.
-The Antique T-Shirt: My Gray AMICAS University T-Shirt. They don't make these anymore, and I don't know how long the name will last, but man I like this shirt. Good for working out, but good enough to wear while running errands. I don't want to get into it too much, but I think its what the fashionista's call "heather gray." I don't know, but it's staying in the drawer for awhile. Runner up is a random T-Shirt with the year "2006" screened on and some sort of Native American running across it. I'm not too sure what its supposed to symbolize but it looks like he's hauling loin cloth. I can't surmise where I even got the shirt from since it has no race emblem, just a word on the back that says "Guardian." No clue where it came from, but the wife and I compete for the shirt quite often.
-Tastefully Tacky: My Habitat for Humanity T-shirt that I got for 20 bucks. They didn't even make me hammer a nail. The shirt is a little undersized which makes me feel a little over sized. The slogan "Nailing Down a Brighter Future" with a hammer above it. I actually had a cashier say to me once "Nailing down a ..... oh I get it." Best 20 bucks I ever spent!

Maybe I'll save the least favorite T's for my next post.

First Is The Worst...

2010-04-04T19:13:00.002-03:00

With the weather turning a little short of wonderful I finally made it outdoors on April 1st for my first long run of the year. The word "long" is relative in that I didn't quite make it 5 miles, but its longer than any jaunt I've taken in the last 5-6 months. The legs and back held up as I crossed the invisible finish line back at the apartment a bit faster than 8 minute pace. Hey, Rome wasn't built in a day (and it eventually got burned down by its ruler). I certainly am unable to make any predictions about the upcoming running season, but I can say that I'm coming into this season the strongest I've been. I've grown tired of all the bicep flexing requests from Mrs. Wilawok but far be it from me to keep my adoring fans from getting what they want.
All kidding aside, I was quite pleased with myself for sticking with my morning gym routine. There were a few times where I stumbled out of bed bleary eyed and wobbly like a drunken sailor (no offense to my cousin serving our country) and wondered what on earth I'm doing up at this ungodly hour. Again, I'm a midday person. But I'm really no worse for the wear, at least for now.
The month of April always brings me back to the month of tricks and tom foolery. I would often joke with my parents that April 1st was the day they paid for me and brought me home from some factory. "$3,000 was a lot of money to spend on a baby back in '76" I would say. "Actually, it was $700 but worth every penny" my mom and dad would reply back smartly. We're a funny family like that.

Mickey the Hustler And His Friend Bud

2010-03-14T12:56:00.004-03:00

We had the privilege of getting to see Vanessa's cousins the other week while they were visiting Florida. We bit the bullet and left New York with tears in our eyes as we headed down to our old stomping grounds of Florida. We ventured to one of the east coast's mecca of capitalism; Disney World! I really have no earthly idea how any family can survive there without spending a handsome sum on food, lodging, shelter, fast passes, more food, face painting, Fast Passes, souvenirs and more food. It's insane to think about how much money Mickey and his friends pull in. I will say that I had a blast at Hollywood Studios though. A lot of the rides were a little old in the tooth, but the Rock N' Roll Roller Coaster, Tower Of Terror and Toy Story made it worthwhile. I should have known that I was a sucker for rock music and fast moving vehicles, but at least my wife doesn't have to worry about me driving. I don't recommend you waste your time on anything else.

After Mickey emptied our pockets we went to visit his friends at Sea World, owned by the Anheuser Busch family. The park seemed a bit depressed on the heels of the latest Shamu attack. The park was more mature that Hollywood studios, but the employees just don't seem to care as much as they do at Disney. Still, they had a great coaster called the Ray or the Manta Ray where you get harnessed and and then they tilt you over on your belly. You're pretty much flying along through flips and turns and you almost skim off the ground, water, and some rocky overhangs. This definitely beat the heck out of the coasters when I was young where all they did was go fast. Now you're actually getting an experience..other than your lunch coming back up. Again though, the tickets was crazy expensive-but at least they're good for the whole year so we can fly back, get a rental car, pay for food, get a hotel and go to Sea World for free.

On the return back to the frigid north I was amazed at how many trees were still down on the roads. We have one treacherous highway in particular that's treacherous enough without snow and downed branches. There are plenty of companies out there to clear out the damaged limbs and snow. I hope they clear trees better than they can spell. I don't feel like I'm very important to them.

Ramblings, and My Earliest Memory

2010-02-25T20:16:00.006-04:00

I think I'm partially in and out of consciousness while I'm at the gym at 6:30am. There's so much stimulation in between the TV's, news, radio, music videos, and overly beefy humans that I feel like I'm in some whimsical world. I hear and see things that I don't necessarily believe after the fact. For example, in the unnecessary Google Research department, I heard a reporter talk about a dog plummeting over 300 feet off a cliff in England and surviving. Said the reporter "I did some research on this, and its over 30 stories!!" I don't know, maybe I dreamed it up.
I'm a sucker for nicknames. My friends will tell you this. My nieces and nephews will tell you this. I haven't called my niece by by her real name since 2003. But I'm not a big fan of forced nicknames. You just can't force the nickname. So, I was horrified when I heard a national sports channel refer to Kobe Bryant as "The Black Mamba." The sportscaster mentioned it approximately six times in the 20 second highlight reel. It seemed forced, awkward and I knew the guy was just trying to get credit for starting up a nickname for a well known sports star. I think I'd like to refer to myself as the "rubber mallet" and I think I'll refer to myself in the 3rd person as much as possible so it will stick. What's the matter with people?
Speaking of whimsical memories, someone recently asked me about my earliest memory. This one is always an easy one. I remember being on an airport runway walking to a plane. Its noisy outside, but I don't seem to mind. My mom is in front of my walking rapidly to the plane and my dad has me over his shoulder. I can't remember if its cold, but I didn't seem to mind if it was. I was extremely comfortable (no, I wasn't 18). The funny part is that my memory seems to be of me looking at me heading out to the plane. It's pretty surreal, and I don't always believe it. My parents have corroborated this story, and I think its when I was either 2 or 3. My cohorts in the psychology field tell me that your first memory tells you a lot about your outlook on life. Maybe that's why I get anxious if I think I'm running late for an appointment.

Green, Blue, and Black All Over

2010-02-14T11:13:00.003-04:00

The wife and I had the privilege of heading out to the land of heated sidewalks, Vail Colorado last week for a work/play weekend. Some refer to Vail as one of the Mecca's of skiing so we thought it would be most prudent if we participated in the festivities-even though our combined skiing experiences wouldn't be enough to fill a cup of hot chocolate. Nonetheless, we had no choice but to try our hand at skiing and hope that we didn't need a trip to the orthopedist upon our return back to New York.
All I can say is wow! Wow, to how natural everyone looked on skis. Even the kids looked super comfortable on skis, and by kids I dont mean 8 or 9 year olds. I mean, 3 or 4 year olds. Kids from the area must be popping out of the womb and skiing-sans helmet and skis of course. Vanessa and I thought it would be wise to take a lesson before hurling ourselves down the mountain with some sticks on our feet. My original impression was that we'd only need a half day lesson. This turned into a solid two days of lessons as we left day one feeling less confident than when we began. After two days and a few falls, then a few more falls, Vanessa and I decided to take a day off. After being manhandled by my masseuse-also named Vanessa-I was chomping at the bit to try and get back on the mountain and show my skills. Im proud to say that we made it from the top of. the mountain back down to the bottom in a little less than one and a half hours. For any other skier it could have been done in less time than it takes to make minute rice, but for Vanessa and I you would have thought that we had made it down Mt. Everest. It was quite an accomplishment for both of us, and was celebrated with a bit of bubbly at the bottom of the mountain. Oh yeah, and I also went to some of the radiology presentations that week.
I really enjoyed the winterfest out west. The humidity was low enough that the sun made it warm outside, even though it was about 27 degrees Fahrenheit . I even got brave the cold to take a dip in the outdoor hot tub-definitely makes the winter a little more bearable.
So that's about it for the big trip out west. I'm glad I made it back in time to watch the remake of "We Are The World" with all the big stars like U2, Beyonce, Alicia Keys...oh wait, none of them were there. But by all means go out and by the single. Personally I love seeing Lil Wayne, Justin Bieber, and Jamie Fox make a mockery of aiding Haiti-sad. Take a few minutes (7 in total) and watch the original. I dont want to sound old, but the original cast is so much better than the spectacle put on by this sorry cast of wannabe's. Come one Quincy, you arent fooling anyone with Celine and Babbs-its a sham.

Five Quick Minutes...

2010-01-31T22:55:00.004-04:00

Seems to be about all the time I have to write lately. School is back in session at Marist although I would hardly call this the Spring Semester. I was greeted to a thermometer that read "7." I was just walking outside the other day on the way to the gym and realized that my running shoes still looked as brand new as the day I bought them a few weeks ago. Its not like I have been running the tread off the bottom of the new Brooks but its a shame that my face hurts when I leave the apartment in the morning. Then again, it does give me the chance to get in touch with the rotating treadmill that gets me in touch with my other tread turning brethren. Its probably the closest I've been to any runner in the last few years. I had the wonderful fortune of staring at myself for 35 minutes the other week in the full size mirror directly in front of me. Its quite amusing to see how I could keep such a look of calm on my face while my insides scream out and pester me to slow down or at least back off. I vacillate back and forth as I take constant stock of how good or bad I feel at the given moment. The full length mirror also allows me to critique the others in the gym as they move through their workout. I see one lady with the treadmill cranked up to a 9 degree angle, but she's holding onto the bars which basically negates all the benefit of utilizing such an incline. Hey, is that guy looking at my screen to see how fast Im going? Maybe I'll just reach over and crank it up a bit more...oh, that hurts a little but I think I have a few more minutes in me..hey that person didnt wipe off their elliptical...is that guy really moving that TV over there, he obviously isnt reading the huge sign saying don't...oh man, I've got the treadmill cranked up to 8, lets see if the guy looks again as I crank the speed up a bit more..ooh that hurt. Now the thoughts start flipping around in my mind like a hyperactive TV channel flipper. I can't really go into all of it here since my family reads this, or at least they might. But my mind pretty much melts away as I finish up the last few minutes of the workout. Man, I cant wait to get back out on the roads.
I did get a nice treat a few weeks ago with a trip back to the old stomping grounds of Florida. Not much has changed in the sunshine state. It was creepily warm even though it was January and it still had the Florida smell that I remembered. I definitely took advantage of the weather to pop the sunroof on the rental car and take a run outside (my shoes are still clean) but I still can't say that I was sad to leave. I was sad to leave the 2010 Ford Taurus that I got for a rental car which is weird because I don't normally get attached to my rental cars, but this was different. What was additionally weird was the fact that I got attached to a domestic automobile. I loved the sunroof, rear sunshade, satellite radio, interior lighting that I could adjust to match my mood, autostick with paddle shifters (I took a picture) and heated and COOLED seats. It was super swanky and I will miss the car dearly. I'll never buy one, but I'll continue to tell people how cool of a car it was. Now, back to the schoolwork and regular work.

Say Uncle.....

2010-01-09T13:03:00.004-04:00

I know its a few weeks delayed but the Wilawoks had quite a wonderful holiday-thanks for asking. It was pretty much like eating chocolate covered pretzels where you get the mix of sweet, crunchy and salty (with salt being a positive thing in this context). Vanessa and I visited the extremes of sleep deprivation but matched it with days of sleeping in. We had times when we were inundated with friends and family, but it was tempered with days of boredom-both situations were greatly appreciated. There were big events like a trip to the city for New Years but also low key events like having the delicious lobster dinner with the in-laws and a soon-to-be tradition of bowling with my family (quick sign of the times-my nephew Wii bowled before he actually bowled at a real alley-strange). I might put this holiday up toward the top of the podium compared to holidays past. I think I am just extremely grateful for a lot this year and the holidays were really just a culmination of everything family and friend related being celebrated. That along with a veritable wrapping paper storm at my parents house while my nieces and nephew tore through their gifts gave me a peaceful, satisfying feeling...partially knowing that I was going to get to play with the kids toys, but not have to clean up after myself.
Even with such holiday cheer there were a few moments on grinchyness on my part. A few of my guy friends got a verbal lump of coal in their stockings as I explained my reason behind any future Wilawok progeny (READ: well beyond 9 months from the date of this blog being published...don't make me repeat myself mom) not being able to call them "Uncle __________." Look, I hate to burst anyone's bubble, but I don't think its appropriate to put inappropriate labels on people, and its downright confusing to them to try and figure out whose an uncle and who isn't. I didn't think about it at the time, but since I have nicknames for every one of my guy friends it will be even more confusing for the poor kid to understand why Stuffy, Rickle, Rallo and Hickey don't have "normal" names. Now I'm not making any decisions for them and their spawn or for my wife and her friends but I'm just trying to make it easy for everyone and decrease the confusion about what you want to be called. Most people would just say Thank you.
My last Grinch moment comes by way of the local gym and all the newbies that have made New Year's resolutions to get into shape. I wish you well but I also wish that you'd get with the program and get off the equipment while you talk on your smart phone, talk to your friend, or use that shoulder press machine to hold up your elbow and bottle of water. I'm also finding out that the trainers at my gym are the worst offenders of the unwritten rules of the gym making it worse for the people who are supposed to be learning from them. I'll save this gripe for another blog but maybe my frustration will be washed away in a few weeks once the majority of the newbies go back to their couches.

Arctic Blasts and Yogurt Quandries

2009-12-23T23:31:00.003-04:00

If you would have talked to me a few weeks ago I would have told you that I didn't miss Florida, not one iota or manatee, or hurricane, or early bird special. But now my middle aged bones are starting to feel something they have not felt in some time. It is the chill of the arctic air coupled with the little bits of fluff from above (no dandruff jokes please) that absolutely remind me that I'm not 10 hours below the Mason Dixon Line any further. Yes, its winter and it's sucking the life right out of me. It is possible that I am being dramatic, but I could swear that I'm aging prematurely due to the weather hardening my skin.

Alright, enough of the old man talk. Let's change topics to something near and dear to me. Yogurt. I just spent another frustrating 10 minutes of my life (and my wife's) in the grocer's refrigerator section looking for yogurt. Mrs. Wilawok and I are at an impasse trying to find a yogurt that tastes good but is still good for me. I would probably dub myself as a bit of a yogurt lover, but its easy to love the stuff when its chock full of sugar a preservatives. Its like pouring jelly in your glass of whole milk. I certainly want to watch what I eat, especially if I eat it so much so yogurt is an important part of my life-hopefully I'm not being too dramatic. The Mrs. has spent a considerable amount of time pouring over labels and nutrition information (and can someone please answer what "Natural Flavors" really entail) to try and find the best tasting and healthiest yogurt for me. I've run the gambit of thick and thin, smooth and chunky, fruit on the bottom and cream on the top-it's all becoming quite the ordeal. Its too the point where the wife and I dread going to that section of the grocery store. Both of us just exhale a prolonged "Ohhh No." Anyone have any advice?

When Will the New Moon Begin to Wane?

2009-11-26T11:30:00.006-04:00

Over the last few weeks I've been living through the latest in teen crazes known as Twilight. How is this possible? Well, it turns out that my wife has been bitten (last pun I promise) by the Twilight craziness and has begun to engulf herself in anything Twilight related. I have been trying mightily to not get sucked (alright really last one) into the vortex, but there I was with her and her friend-I won't name names, but you know who you are-at the theater on the first weekend of New Moon the latest in the Twilight saga. I slowly marched up the steps like Michael Clark Duncan walking to the Electric Chair in "Green Mile" but there was no Tom Hanks to save me. While seated, I exchanged a few glances with the one or two other guys in the theater (that was the total number of guys mind you). The looks were part camaraderie, part anxiety as we were all about to embark upon a journey into teen angst and painfully slow dialogue. I think I even heard the cleanup crew snicker as I walked in and they walked out.
Alright, so it wasn't all that bad. I've certainly seen worse movies. I informed the group after the movie that I had seen "Lawnmower Man" in the theater. I even felt a sense of kinship with the other teenie-boppers in the theater when I gasped as Jacob forcefully removed his all to tight t-shirt that allowed his pectorals to feel the cool Washington air. I was quickly dragged back down to earth by the other hour and however many minutes of boredom. I don't think the movie made a lot of sense, and there seemed to be a lot of jumping around, but maybe that's because I kept nodding off through parts of the movie. Too keep everything in perspective, I can't say it was a bad time. I think I proved to myself that I can endure low grade teenager flicks and can still remain a snob about movies. My wife on the other hand, really seemed to enjoy the movie and I can't blame her. I just don't want her joining Team Edward or Team Jacob. It probably would have been very similar to having my parents go to the theater with me to see The Breakfast Club or my parents having their parents go with them to see Rebel Without a Cause, or my grandparents going to see Streetcar Named Desire with their parents. You get the idea. Which makes it all the more frustrating to know that people are making billions of dollars off the same old stuff. Man, that Shakespeare was brilliant!
In an amusing, yet sobering non-Twilight moment, the group of girls behind us were snickering at a Madonna music clip prior to the movie and making jokes at how old and weird Madonna looked. At the same time my wife and I and our friends were marveling at how good she looked for her age. I think that pretty much sums up the fact that we've crossed over the threshold from new moon to old moon.

A Sigh of Relief

2009-11-16T01:02:00.003-04:00

A major milestone was completed about 7 minutes ago. My first research paper in over a decade was due about 3 minutes ago and with the help of my wonderful wife I was able to submit the thorn in my side with more than enough time to spare. Of course, its 2009 so the paper had to be uploaded to this wacky website that checks your paper work for plagiarism. Always competitive, I tried for a 0% but scored a little lower than 5% which still isn't too bad. Apparently a student at Kenyon University (not in another continent, I think its in Ohio) also wrote a paper on Instant Messenger technology so great minds must have thought alike. With the completion of this paper I'm one step closer to telling people that I am better than them since I completed my first course in Business Administration that seemed an awful lot like a course in Psychology but with a focus on business. Alright, the bed is calling.

Quit Peeping My Leaf

2009-10-26T21:42:00.014-03:00

Thousands of tourists descend upon Jim Thorpe each fall to view the wonderful fall foliage of the middle Atlantic states. But unlike other falls, Jim Thorpe was visited by a motley crew of outsiders that had interest, not in the fall foliage, but in seeing how many shades of red their faces could turn as they braved the elements of mother nature. The vagrants descended upon a soggy town named after a great American and had all the intentions of being memorialized by a great American President or at least by one of their buddies that saw them break their bicycle chain while ascending a bunny hill. It was a weekend of mind boggling math as the group tried to figure out how to equally split the bill for our luxurious accommodations that resembled something out of a displaced persons camp after World War II. But the group formed a cohesive unit when it came time to put rubber on the road and get out for some serious bicycle riding and boulder hopping. The weather gods were obviously against the group heading outdoors as we were pelted with panchetta size sleet, or maybe it was some spicy chicken bratwurst that was flung through the air post ride. The group found an arduous course that meandered through the countryside and allowed the group to take in the sites and sounds of the northeast. We saw a few views that were reminiscent of Windows screensavers . I was just happy to be seeing something other than palm trees and hurricanes in October. I would say that for the most part, the trip was pretty subdued, but it wasn't without its moments of excitement. We actually slept until 10am on Saturday...wait, I'm supposed to be sharing exciting moments. Oh, we actually witnessed people playing some strange game with a ping pong ball, a table and cups of beer lined up in a triangle on each side. We then had our sleeping disrupted by either some wild boar protecting her young, or a youth at another site expelling what she had to drink earlier in the evening. I almost had to get the elephant gun out from the cabinet and run out like Elmer Fudd hunting Bugs Bunny-complete with Red wool hats with the ear flaps. I even had the long johns to go with the rest of the outfit. We also found out that it actually took 250 lbs. of pressure per square inch to shatter a styrofoam cooler-especially when that person sits on the cooler. What's even better is that the styrofoam doesn't even crack. It actually shatters with a loud explosion resembling a sonic boom-probably from the acceleration of our friend's more than ample body mass. I should have told him to stick the box of 36 hamburger patties in the container to help it maintain its shape and shore up its stability. We'll definitely be planning another "escape" next year. I just need to plan it now, while the emotional and physical scars are still fresh.

Craig and His Wonderful List

2009-10-11T22:03:00.006-03:00

Where does the time go? A few of my loyal readers (more than 1) have noticed that no blogging has been done by yours truly lately. Well, to be fair I've been a little busy globetrotting around the east coast and mid-Atlantic states over the last few weeks (quick quiz and no Googling, where does the east coast end and the mid-Atlantic begin?) We had a good weekend in the keystone state with my folks. We had the opportunity to do some fall cleaning in their garage and witness the power of Craig's List.
The aforementioned example played itself out with my dad's old wood/charcoal furnace. This behemoth probably had the girth of around 700lbs and hadn't been used since the 80's, which is longer than I realized. My dad said he tried once to give it away but he said he never got any serious bites. I called upon the digital camera and Craig's List to do the work for us, and after a few minutes of typing up a brief description we're ready for Craig to go to work. I'd guess this process all began around noon. By around 4pm we already had 7 emails from "serious" people looking for the furnace, not a rendezvous with swingin' singles or some scam to teach me how to sell playstations. This was the real deal. Now, it didn't hurt that we were giving the furnace away for free-but still, this thing was a beast. Now, I wouldn't say we got swamped with interest like I was giving away a Honus Wagner rookie card, but I would say I felt pretty good having something that more than a few people wanted. Actually, it wasn't even mine, but being the agent almost feels as good as being the player. I was taking calls, and making deals. I was the Jerry McGuire of antique furnaces and I wasn't shy about enjoying it.
I probably received another eight to ten emails in my inbox and my dad found a good home for old smokey. But what I realized a day or two later, was that I not only had the inbox interest, I also had 35....yes 35 other emails from people interested in this thing. Craig's List is my new Vegas.
Bringing things up to present day, I spent this morning getting back into the racing circuit. This was my first 5k in almost 2 years. I pretty much picked up where I left off with a less than stellar 19:28. The first few strides were stutter steps as I stumbled over some women and children who seemed to go "deer in headlights" once the starter gun went off. I don't think they realized they were at the front of the starting line, but instead thought that they were being shot at. I think I recovered ok and actually had a solid mile 2 and 3. I don't know if sub 19 minutes is in the cards for the remaining months of 2009, but at least I got the first race under my belt. I also used the few seconds in the race chute as an opportunity to mentor a young runner behind me on the merits and benefits of not turning around to look behind him for the runners chasing him. "The race is in front of you..." Oh man, I hope my high school coach is reading this.

A Retraction of my Retraction and a Reminder of my Resolution

2009-09-20T19:02:00.003-03:00

So I gave my electronic textbook chapter a listen to and the best I can say about it is that its basically digital "Cliff's Notes." It brought me back to the days of cramming in Macbeth right before English class using a crinkled up copy that got smuggled over to me from another buddy that got it from another buddy (I think that story had a ghost in it). They were shunned by the literaries (brown nosers) at the school and potentially illegal in class, although I don't know what the teacher would have done had they seen a copy on our desk. It's probably more a matter of catholic guilt, even though we were in a public school. Old habits and all.
So, I'm back to thumbs down on the electronic text book. It just isn't my thing. I guess I'm resigned to the good old fashioned analog page turner. Maybe that electronic book that Amazon's been trying to foist on everyone will feed my inner geek. Although I feel like I'm about to break a promise to myself that I wasn't going to write notes or underline in this text book since I didn't find the topic all that worthy of my time. That was a bold statement that I'm going to re-visit after my midterm.
So while I was running today I was reminded of a resolution I thought I made right here on this blog, or maybe I intended to make. It was that I was going to plan a little bit more before I did things. Does anyone remember that? Well, I'm not heeding my own advice because I continue to have situations where I'm not planning. The reason I was reminded of this on my run was because I went a bit longer than normal on the long run-probably about 2.5 miles longer. That may not seem like much while in a car, but this was already a long run for Sunday, and I didn't know exactly where I was going either. I tried to make myself feel better by telling myself that it was just like the good old days of running where me and the guys would head out and just "explore." That was all fine and dandy on young spry legs with 10 other educated, yet moronic guys all out there suffering. But now its serious. I'm still three miles out with nine miles on my legs and a strange gurgling in my stomach. The crust is starting to form around my lips and I realize that I should have either done an out and back run or taken 5 minutes to review the course I was going to run. I'm going to blame the technology a bit for giving me such a false sense of security. While I was on my run I was contemplating how tough it would be to take my blackberry with me while I was running. Obviously, I made it home just fine or else I wouldn't be writing this. As soon as I got some electrolytes in me I was glad I got the run in to boost the mileage for the week and get me across the 10 mile long run threshold but I think I'm old enough to do a little more looking before I leap.

The Healthcare Debate and Books Gone Digital

2009-09-12T17:38:00.006-03:00

As a follow up to last week's post and my commenter, I wanted to retract my statement a bit about the technology of textbooks lagging behind. I did some investigation into a company that allows you to download chapters of the most popular textbooks to your mp3 appliance. Now, it isn't free so I'm not going to do this company any favors by giving out the name to my extensive list of blog readers, but I will say that I like the concept of podcasting the chapters. I did get to download one chapter for free so I'm going to give it a shot and see how it works. I do enjoy podcasts and have listened to a book or two on CD, but alas I don't think my auditory canals are hooked up correctly to my brain correctly. Either that, or I just retain more reading. Which is weird to me since I could recite Gordon Lightfoot's "Sundown" or Metallica's "Unforgiven" just a few times after hearing them. Maybe someone needs to sing the chapters to me. Either way, its kind of indulgent to have someone actually read the material to you anyway. I think back to an interesting enterprise I could have launched in college with the underlying plot to meet women that wanted me to read to them.
As I'm entering the second week of class I'm realizing that I'm probably going to do ok in class with this online format. I like forums, as long as they're neat and organized. And I was the brown noser that broke out the four questions into their own discussion threads. This was even mentioned in my "instructor's" online message board as a best practice for online communication. I was then sought out by others in the class and was probably labeled as a brown-noser which was oddly enough discussed in Chapter 2 of our text on motivation. What a great example of life imitating....something.
I don't want to poke a stick at the healthcare debate, I don't know enough about what's going on. I do hope the same checks and balances (and crooks) that have kept things from going to far will still be there when all the hoopla and medical bills settle. I will say this, I'm certainly not happy with my insurance plan and think its ridiculous that I pay a lot for insurance and still have to pay a co-pay. I don't know if there's anything like healthcare where I have a co-pay and I have no choice in which company I let take my money. I think of the cable company, but they don't charge me again when I call them for service. I don't think much will change for the wife and I in regards to our healthcare, but I certainly like to watch the sparks fly and it helps keep everyone else pre-occupied and ignorant of the fact that as a country we're just not as smart as we once were. This is illustrated in the story posted HERE

It's About Time

2009-08-21T23:31:00.006-03:00

It's a little past that time of year where I'll sit back and reflect on another year in the working world. I like to look back and see where I've been and look ahead to see where I could go. Normally my thoughts would get scribbled down in the journal, but since I'm blogging I thought I would try to switch it up a bit and write up something for the masses-albeit a little less frank, but hopefully still as telling.
It's also been a little more interesting to look back as its been over 10 years in the working world and I feel like I've been all over the place. I've been under employed, over employed, unhappily employed and quite happily employed. I'd say that more times than not, I've really enjoyed the work I've done and can only hope that trend continues. I certainly miss the good old days of hourly work, but completely get the fact that I can't really escape the great corporate trap of becoming a salaried employee. I can only hope that the next decade will be more of the same challenges and improvements, but can't see how I can work any harder than I am now. Maybe the future will hold less hours working and more hours helping people get the work done.
So I'm joining the ranks of "Back to Schoolers" this week. No trapper keepers were purchased but I still got the usual runaround of overcharge from the campus bookstore. I'm eternally glad to be paying $150 for a book that I'll read through once and then keep on my shelf to show how well I've wasted my money. I hope text books go the way of the newspaper and commercials-right down the drain. It really makes no sense, especially when I'm taking an online business course which includes online forums, messages, discussion boards and assignments. It's like typing a document with a typewriter and then scanning it so you can store it on your computer. It just makes no sense. I'll make sure I keep everyone posted of my progress and how many nightmares I have of forgetting where my classes are mailbox are located.

Roweda Iron and the Wal Mart Redemption

2009-07-28T20:02:00.003-03:00

I'm not completely ready to hop on the Wal-Mart bash wagon. I know it seems like its in vogue right now to slam the retail giant for any number of reasons which probably affect me in some way on a deeper level. But I can't just bash for bashing sake. UNLESS, I have something affect me directly while shopping at one of their "Super Stores" which has started to become a trip that I absolutely dread (yes dear, more than Bed Bath & Beyond). I loathe the bigness of the place and how its just so difficult to navigate through the store. I dream up ways that it could be easier to find such diverse things as an indoor/outdoor thermometer, number 393 battery (for my bicycle computer) and a fire extinguisher. I'm not asking for Wal-Mart to put these all in one place for me. It doesn't make good marketing sense like putting the beer next to the diapers. But all I ask of you Wal-Mart is to train your employees on the location of said items. I've been to Wal-Mart on more than one occasion and have been lost on more than one occasion. And on more than one occasion I've asked where something is by one of my blue vested friends and guess what?! They don't know. Let's take it one step further-they don't even call in for backup or ask. They just look at me like I'm speaking another language. Now, I won't ignore the white elephant here and pretend that everyone speaks pristine English at these stores. But, what I do expect is good customer service, in whatever language you want to offer it in. I'll be perfectly fine with you the employee phoning a friend and getting me the location of the steam irons. I will not tolerate a shrug of the shoulders and a blank stare when I ask where something is. I see you laughing over there Target-don't even get me started on you. At least Wal-Mart is close. I have to drive an extra 10 minutes to get the same treatment and pay 25 cents for the shopping cart I'm hopefully not going to pilfer. Customer service has fallen so far.

Not so though with a place Vanessa and I visited a few weeks ago. It was an outdoors store in a nearby community. All the people were pleasant, the store was certainly no chain and it seemed like all of them could tell you pretty much anything about the product in their area. And, they were younger than Vanessa and I! I wouldn't fear so much for today's youth if I had a bunch of these people running the proverbial "joint." The guy named Chip or Chucky or Chewey could tell you everything you wanted to know about Norwegian stainless steel thermoses, Apple hickory wood, the amazing Egg Grill, and some crazy shaker cup that you can attach to your blender to make smoothies. He even gave us a demonstration with the blenders in the store. The kid was amazing, and he really like his job (or smooching derriere). Whatever his motivation, I ate it up. And I even bought a few things, which I hardly ever do during my first visit to any store. And, I'll probably even go back there to buy more stuff-and maybe even pick up some Jack Daniels bourbon wood chips for my steaks. Mm mm.

Cooking with Kingsford

2009-07-12T18:27:00.006-03:00

I received some interesting feedback from my last post. Some of the blog's more mature readers thought I was being a bit harsh in my assumption that the "powers that be" in our condominium community were being a bit overbearing and stuffy (no, they weren't acting like my buddy living in NYC whose named Stuffy for endearing reasons, but if they were that would certainly make easy blog fodder). I'm certainly not against rules, in fact I'm a big fan of rules. I'm against the wishy-washy, half hearted, moans and groans of anyone, young or old that try to stifle others from doing what they want to do. It was obvious that the ruling class in our community couldn't make a rule against having fun, so they would just pass around some passive aggressive statement about "excessive fun."
Certainly, anyone that owns a home inherits some rights of "geriatricy." It's not a bad thing. In fact, I kind of look forward to it again when I can tell the kids to keep off my grass. It's the circle of life I guess. In Cleveland I would dream up ways to keep kids from traipsing through my front yard. But, the difference is that the kids shouldn't have been running through my lawn in the first place. Therein lies the rub as they say. If people are doing things wrong then things need to be put in place to stop that. That's what jails and juvenile hall are for. If you wish someone were doing something differently, but they aren't breaking any rules then you're getting involved in something called a negotiation. You shouldn't try to shame someone into changing their ways, but try and get to the heart of the matter with the opposition, and hopefully come to some resolution. That way, the opposition can continue to practice cannonballing into the pool and the blue haired's can keep their oxygen tents.
I don't want to continue to run this into the ground, but during July 4th weekend we were greeted by not one, not two, but three different comments or requests about another potential infraction. Vanessa and I were very excited about being able to grill outside when we moved out here. Even better, we can grill with charcoal. I already have another post lined up for that, but anyway, we double and triple checked the rules to make sure we weren't in violation of any community rules. The only other rule we noticed was that we needed to remain 10 feet away from our apartment. That was easily done, but it was something that still need to be verified by some of our interested neighbors. It was like a moth to a flame as soon as we lit up the grill. We received a warning, a request and an invitation to move our grill if we thought the grill was too close to our apartment. Vanessa and I were tempted to measure out a chalk line 10 feet from our apartment and tell people to shut their traps. I'm amazed that people would say anything to us at all, but maybe its just a generation thing. I can appreciate that they don't want their community to go up in flames, but this is just getting ridiculous. I do have to give some props to our next door neighbor that said if anyone gave us slack about grilling out then we could use his yard which had some more space to grill. Tony, I'm cooking up a T-bone for you my man!

Off the Beach and on to Fishing

2009-06-21T12:21:00.004-03:00

This was a tough title for me to decide upon. I couldn't quite get the two cities of Ormond Beach and Fishkill to match up quite right. At first, it was off the beach and on to the kill which would really worry my parents. But Ormond and Fishing don't really have a way to match up either. So, I'm going to take the easy way out and not spend too much more time on it. I hope you aren't disappointed.
So, I'll say that we're pretty much settled in to our new abode in Fishkill. I think the cardboard boxes have pretty much receded and I've stopped using the GPS to get to work. I've pretty much found all the dishes and kitchen utensils while unloading the dishwasher and we're finally getting used to the apartment shrinkage compared to our old place in Florida. Still, there's some re-adjustment that needs to take place, but I think we'll get there. I think both Vanessa and I are more sensitive to clutter now that we're in a smaller place. I see a box out of place now and I don't know what to do. Everything just seems to be amplified when some things are out of place. I'm like Rachael Ray without the garbage bowl. What is good, is that its forcing both of us to keep the place a little cleaner so we don't have to climb through the windows to get into our bedroom.
One other commentary on our condo complex that I thought was amusing/scary. I found this little blurb in our monthly condo complex named "The Commons Sense" (very clever).
Finally , a note from the Board of Managers [bolded in the newsletter]. The Commons has long enjoyed a reputation as a premier residential community and a great place to live. We have earned this reputation because of our beautiful and well maintained grounds, excellent amenities and the tranquil and relaxed lifestyle. Over the past few years, as our population has changed we have welcomed the arrival of younger families and children. Because of their enthusiasm and more active life style, the children and friends they have invited, have been involved in activities that upset other residents and have resulted in several complaints.
The blurb also goes on to mention excessive "cannon balling" and accusing the adults supervising these alleged vagrants of not immediately inflicting corporal punishment on them and they better start...or else. Now, I don't want to say that I'm some sort of crusader for the youth. I'm all for these teens getting put in their place. But let's be realistic, if I'm by a pool I'm probably going to jump in. And what really constitutes a cannonball in the first place? Is it grabbing your knees mid-flight? All this little rant says to me is-hide your children or the old people will come out and eat them! I can only imagine what these old farts were saying during their meeting before they wrote this politically correct warning. I'm excited for next month's issue which will strongly discourage laughing outside, frolicking and walking on the grass. I wonder if the folks that wrote this even think about their condominium coffers and how quickly they'll dry up if they don't get some young families in here? I hope the old fogies in the community don't read this and decide to baby powder my truck. Nah, they probably don't even know what a computer is. "Hey kid, get off my lawn!"

My Dream Comes True

2009-06-08T21:57:00.003-03:00

I've played it over in my mind more than a few times. I'm running along and feeling good. My body feels like its in an almost fluid motion. Nothing is difficult, I'm just breezing along. The weather is not quite perfect, but it's good enough to make me feel like I'm really out conquering the elements and doing something that not too many other people are able to do. I'm pretty much zoned out as I clip along at a pace a little faster than my usual, but at a cadence that feels like I could carry on at this pace for mile after mile.
Then it happens. Out of nowhere some carload of complete morons (I hate to insult my gender, but its usually two or more guys) come along and either honk their horn, yell some obscenity that I can't quite make out, or throw something at me. This is all done from the safety of their car where they feel 10 feet tall and 250lbs. But, if they ever had to confront me, I doubt they'd be as brash. I always think about what I'd say to them. Maybe offer to have them run along with me, or ask if I know them and if they wanted to cheer me on. Maybe I would ask simply, Why are you so stupid? I doubt I'd get into a physical altercation with anyone, but on the run that type of stuff can occupy the mind for miles so it's good fodder, although I won't bore you with it here.
Well, last week I finally got my chance. I was running along in some less than optimal weather and feeling pretty good. It was toward the end of the run and I was moving along when out of nowhere, two pre-pubescent ruffians drove on by. One of them leaned over and through the 1 inch opening from the cracked open window yelled something that sounded like "ron't fund to the fide mass mole." At that age (speaking from experience) we males don't seem to think a lot about the future, near future, or planning for the future. Or in a word, consequences. And what this hooligan failed to notice was that traffic up ahead was slowing down for an oncoming ambulance. In less than 60 feet traffic was stopped. And while his little verbal abuse must have seemed funny to the audience in the car, they would soon be meeting me again.
This was too good. Finally, my chance to get some pay back for the years of jibes and insults. These kids were going to feel the wrath of years of insults being tossed at me and other runners. I was going to have my justice, and my vengence would be swift. Then, a funny thing happened. As I ran up to the car, I started thinking about how stupid these kids were in the first place. They were so stupid that they had to insult a runner for kicks. These are also probably the stupid kids that can't get dates, get beat up at school and chase people with their car or have some weapon in their car because they forget about things like consequences. I've never been called "intimidating" before, and I certainly wouldn't think people are wrong in that assessment. So as I passed by I practiced something that I didn't have as a stupid kid-rational thought. I thought about the consequences of egging these kids on and how badly things could turn out. For all I know, there could have been 6 kids in that car popping out of that Saturn like clowns, waiting to pummel me because they wanted to have a good story. Nope. this time, and probably every time as an adult, I've decided to take the high rode. I just ran by. I glanced over as I passed and noticed that the kid at least rolled up his window. They passed me again shortly thereafter, but not a word of abuse was uttered. I can only hope they learned a lesson about consequences that day. I finished up my run and was relieved that I took the high road. And I was even happier to hear that the local police would be on the lookout for the Black 2003 Saturn License New York License plate SL3-RV2. Sometimes it pays to be rational.

Needs & Wants

2009-05-18T23:36:00.007-03:00

I just came off my first week "living" up in our new town in Fishkill NY. Being there and living the spartan lifestyle made me think about the things that I need to live versus the things I don't need to survive.
I'll start right out by saying that I need food and Fig Newtons fit the bill perfectly. that along with granola bars and cranberry juice. The cereal nod has to go to Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What it lacks in minerals it makes up for in the happiness it gives me when I eat it. Nutritional deficiencies can be made up for by the fig newtons and the addition of Nature Valley granola bars. Plastic plates, bowls and utensils used to make me feel bad, but since we recycle I don't have to feel bad about my temporary dishes. You can probably throw peanut butter and its good friend jelly in there and that could make up my lunch and maybe the dinner as well. I only had to last a week, so it was tolerable.
Obviously I need a car to get to work, but I'd love to be able to forgo the driving and go with public transportation or walking. Don't get me wrong, I'd still want to have a car, but I don't want to be forced to use it.

I need a good place to run. And a good place should not have cars driving by at highway speeds. I should also have more than two choices for a run-out and back doesn't count. It also doesn't count to go in the opposite direction of the usual loop. I need a little variety.

On to the luxury items. I need a floor mat for the bathroom, especially up north. I can't handle cold feet when stepping out of the shower. I could care less about the loofah, the shower curtain, or the shower nozzle. Just give me a soft floor mat. I also like having a book to read-albeit not in the shower. It doesn't have to be anything in particular, but I like having something to keep me occupied rather than staring at the TV. It helps me fall asleep at night and it makes me feel like my brain isn't turning to mush.

The air mattress I slept on was ok, probably a little better than ok. But having a firm pillow and a constant source of white noise is a must or else I can't sleep. I'm amazed that with that type of criteria I was able to travel so much for work.
I really suffered this past week without any connection to the Internet. I don't think I need a TV, but I really need my Google, web browsing, email and maps. I need to be in constant contact with the web at almost all times to figure out things like where I can find a diner(another northern upgrade).

Something I don't want or need is Internet access from my local airline. I just got an email from AirTran saying "Good News" you can now get Internet access on your flight to...." I'm as obsessed with online access as the next person, but when are we going to pull the reigns back and say enough to all the streamlining and mechanising. I understand that its great having access to the internet, but the plane is one place I looked forward to not having access. Everyone I know is already multi-tasking 2 or 3 times over to get things done but can't we just leave this one sanctuary alone? I partially enjoy having the excuse that I couldn't do work because I was on the plane. But I also appreciate the downtime and the ability to completely vegetate. How much more efficient are we expected to be?

Thanks Air Tran.

Sean

Joanna Connor and the Second City

2009-05-06T13:30:00.005-03:00

Over the weekend, Vanessa and I took a trip to Chicago. Her cousin was coming into town and we wanted to get to see him. Add to this that he's an anesthesiologist from Chile and it plants all the seeds for an interesting time in a very cool city.

I've been to Chicago many times over the last few years. Being in the radiology business we have a conference there every year that most of the radiology world attends. Its the first weekend after thanksgiving (blech) and it runs from Sunday to Wednesday (Blech squared). I always saw that the town had a lot of potential, but never got the chance to go tourist style; until this past weekend.

After my first true visit there I have to say that Chicago is one of the best places I've been to. It's huge but navigable. Public transportation is pretty easy and clean. There's a ton to do there and its a very active city. People are out all the time and it seems like they really take pride in their city. They also have to be ecstatic once spring rolls around so that must help too. Rumor has it that after the big fire in 1918 the designers of the city got the chance to truly build the city the way they wanted to, which is something I can always appreciate. I often look forward to the opportunity to completely wipe my computer clean and start fresh. It's a little bit different, but you get my drift. Oh, and Mr. Trump's latest epithet to himself was almost complete and ready for people to marvel at. It was almost as big as his ego I guess.

So we were able to do a ton of stuff, including but not limited to the Sky Deck at the Hancock building, going on an architectural boat tour "up" the Chicago river, going to the Field museum, seeing the "bean" and the fountain from "Married with Children." The weather was spectacular and it really wasn't too crowded. On Friday night we went to Kingston Mines in Lincoln Park. It's a blues/jazz bar that's pretty well known. I've been there before, but taking other people with me somehow made me feel a little cooler about going. We were treated to a great show by Joanna Connor who plays the guitar like Eddie Van Halen (yes, she was even tapping the neck of the guitar) and had a voice from the spawn of Joanie Mitchell and Janice Joplin. It also didn't hurt that the amplifiers were turned up to 11 as Vanessa her cousin and I all left the joint with a slight ringing in our ears. It was really a great time.

Being at the top of the Hancock tower eating lunch on Sunday made me happy that I've done a fair amount of traveling over the last few years. I think this really would have overwhelmed me if I had not been a traveler beforehand. It also helped that my wife turned out to be one of the best out of state tour guides around. That along with the web enabled cell phone allowed us to give a tour to Vanessa's cousin that would rival the best walking tours in the town. For example, take "Cloud Gate" or "The Bean." Its a tribute to the city of Chicago meant to resemble flowing mercury. I wish that came from my noggin but I have to give all the credit to Google for continuing to enrich our lives while it devours the world like a boa constrictor and a mouse. Hey, as long as it isn't a painful demise, I don't mind.

One last item; and its painful to admit. But I got passed on one of my training runs while I was in Chicago. Yes, it was Sunday, and yes it was a slow distance day. But it hasn't happened very often so it was a little tough to take (the other time was in Boston-and the guy was a stud). My fellow running brethern will know exactly what I'm speaking of. The one guy passed me but I saw him later turned back around toward me and walking (some consolation) but the other guy just blew by me and kept going. I guess it's one of the downfalls of being in a big city-the pond, or the lake is just bigger.

Hey, is that...

2009-04-20T23:25:00.004-03:00

We all have our talents. As we move along into maturity it gets tougher and tougher to find out what these talents are. It was easy enough to rationalize my lack of talent when I was a youngster. If I was 8 or 10 I could watch the Phillies on TV and know that if I was older, I could probably be out on the field with Mike Schmidt or Lenny Dykstra, but I was just too young. That worked for about 10 more years and then we had the arrival of the high school athlete going pro. Ah, that was easy too. I could just rationalize that if I could spend6-8 hours a day practicing I could do what Kobe and Lebron could do. (I was more of a Chris Mullin fan, but he didn't quite fit into the example).

Obviously, neither of these rationalizations were legit, so what do I bring to the table as an adult that puts me on the right side of the bell curve? Not surprisingly, it goes back to the appendages that are the bane of my adolescence-my ears. I don't really know how it comes to me but for some reason I do a pretty good job at picking up famous people's voices when they're doing the voice over for commercials. I've caught Gene Hackman (Lowes) Zach Braff (Pur water) & Tim Allen (The State of Michigan) all lending their voices into these commercials.

It probably all started with Billy Krudrup in the MasterCard commercials (priceless). I didn't really know much about Billy. I don't even know what other movies he was in. But his voice called to me when I heard him say "Priceless" at the end of the commercial. I had him dead to rights.

Now, just like every talent or maybe I should say, super power is that I'm pretty much useless when it comes to these animated movies that are out now with all the stars. Like Super Man with kryptonite, I'm just overwhelmed with the voices and the animation and I can't concentrate. I can usually get to the celebrity, but not any faster than anyone else. But sit me back down in front of the TV and I can tell you its Keifer Sutherland doing a Miller Genuine Draft commercial or Kelsey Grammar acting as the voice for Hyundai. It's just a gift that I can't help but share, but I don't want the word getting out too far.

Chapter 6

2009-04-12T17:49:00.003-03:00

Last Monday signaled the beginning the next chapter of the Kowaliw family novel. It was my first day at a new job in over five years. I have to say that I was quite surprised to be filling out paperwork for health insurance, and waivers for my new electronic equipment so soon after I had done it a short half decade earlier. I really had no designs on leaving my previous employer and didn't really imagine such an opportunity presenting itself to me in such a short amount of time. I really expected to be cutting my teeth (which is really a poor choice of phrase, since I really enjoyed my work) for a few more years until I learned the ropes a bit more and moved on to something else. But this new opportunity seems to afford me the opportunity to "hop the line" a bit in my professional career and move into more of a business and management role and move away from the daily warrior role.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed my daily warrior role. I don't want to shine my own shoe, but I was well liked and respected at my prior employer. I was a solid go to person in the company and was usually lauded and rewarded for my hard work. I was usually put in a position to succeed and my monthly training classes were usually met with glowing reviews and accolades. So why would I switch out of my comfort zone?

Well, between you and I, the life change is not something new for me. I've done this a few times before, and it's been met with various results. Usually the change goes well and I work my way up the ladder by skipping a few rungs. Other times, the new rung snaps and I end up pretty much falling off the ladder. Those of you who knew me during my days in Cleveland certainly know what I'm referring to. But, what's always happened is that I've been able to hop back up the ladder and scramble back to where I was, and usually jump back up to where I was.

The jumps have decreased over the last few years to hops, and inevitably with marriage and adulthood, the hops get a little tougher to do. There's just more at stake now. So, as of now I don't really see the opportunity to make many more jumps. Or, as I've said to a few people, I don't think I'll get many more chances to fail right now. This is why I see this as such a great opportunity. I'm getting more into the business side of things and moving out of middle management. I'll be working at a smaller, faster company and one where I can be involved with a lot of changes in the future operation of the company. It could all go really well, or it could go over like a lead balloon and I could be tossed on my ear and out the door as I learn what goes into a mudslide blizzard and Dairy Queen.

Let's hope this chapter has a lot of pages to it.

Roots of the Tree

2009-03-29T12:57:00.005-03:00

On the whole, I'd have to say that life moves along pretty smoothly for Vanessa and I. In fact, I could say that things are downright boring sometimes, save the work drama, that isn't drama to anyone else but me. Then out of nowhere, life just completely whips your head back. One week we're in Chile celebrating culture and family, and the next week we're back in the U.S. paying reverence to culture and family. It's with a lot of sorrow that I mention the passing of my grandfather David (Grandaddy) Moreno and Anna (Grandma) Kowaliw.
In thinking over their deaths, I realize how good me and my cousins have had it in this life. We've really never been left wanting, thanks specifically to our parents and grandparents. I really think that our lives have been very "boring" thanks to my grandparents who have both led extremely interesting lives (and I don't use the word interesting in a positive or negative way). My grandmother started her life in the Ukraine and was forced to the U.S. by World War II. She and my grandfather (who passed almost three years ago) made their way here through hard work and perseverance. Both of them helped to raise me and continually taught me to appreciate what I have. More than once this week, I've stopped getting frustrated about my cell phone call dropping or about my keypad remote for my rental car not working. I've thought about how my complaints would sound to my grandmother and how, in a reversed situation, I would handle the trials and tribulations that she went through in the Displaced Persons camp in Germany trying to get milk for her baby (my father), or coming to America and not knowing the language or anyone else in the country. My life bores in comparison and hopefully she gained some pleasure in seeing how good my life has been and knowing that she had a big part in that.
I remember epic eating sessions at my Grandmothers growing up. Breakfast slid into lunch time as I sat at the table eating cereal, pancakes, french toast, juice, fruit, bread (hleeb), cream of wheat etc. The woman would clean out her refrigerator for me. She showed love in her food. It was later in life where I brought my friends home and she would feed us like it was Thanksgiving, even if it was Spring Break. In one mythic session I actually passed out at the dinner table while eating. I only knew this due to the fact that one of my friends was talking to my grandmother at one second and then the next thing I know they're talking about something completely different. My only answer is that I must have fallen into a minor food coma.

Since my grandfather was located in Texas, I saw him much less frequently. But I loved seeing him and my grandmother when they would come to visit. I remember watching sports with him and maybe possibly sneaking a sip or two of his Pabst Blue Ribbon. He also led a tough life and was affected by World War II. He was a belly gunner on a B-17 bomber during the war and after injuring his eardrums, he worked in air traffic control. Again, I compare this to my teenage years complaining about not having a car or not having money for pizza in college. My grandfather was a religious man and I remember going to church with him and my grandmother. It may have been one of the few times as a kid I didn't mind going to church. My grandfather also preached hard work and perseverance. A career mail carrier, he had 6 kids to feed. I haven't held any job longer than five years. I don't know if he saw his job as something he loved but he knew it was something he had to do. I remember him saying that he didn't use a self propelled lawn mower because he liked to mow his own lawn. I understand what he meant and appreciated all the lessons he taught me. My fondest memory of him was how many names he had. Every generation of cousin called him something different. It started with Daquies, then Grackies, then Guackies. Each of us forming our own unintentional pet name for him due to our own lack of diction. I think he finally got to the point where he forced us all to standardize it to grandaddy and save everyone in the family a lot of name confusion.
I think the lives of my grandparents is such a far cry from what we have today. There's such an overabundance of self entitlement in this country and it's just downright annoying. I noticed this in our travels to Chile. Everything there was so much more understated then it is here in the U.S.. I guess its very easy to forget the struggles of our parents and grandparents. While its partially a good thing that we don't have the tough lives of our ancestors, it also makes it tougher to appreciate what we have and what they fought to achieve. I guess the only way to get that across (short of living in poverty) is to make sure we take the time to listen to the stories passed along from this older and possibly wiser generation. If nothing else, it helps lend perspective on our lives and lets us see where we came from. I have to think that the roots to this tree are strong and won't die out, not for a long time.

Ain't No Mountain High Enough...

2009-03-11T22:40:00.007-03:00

From one spectacular view to the next. Vanessa and I took on the Andes mountains yesterday and both of us were completely in awe of how spectacular the tour was. I don't know if either of us were coming into the guided tour with any expectations, but 8 hours after leaving for our trip both of us probably look like we were fresh off one heck of a roller coaster ride. I kept snapping pictures trying to capture the awe of the mountain, but none of the pictures or video seemed to do the views any justice. I'll say that one of the best parts of the trip is how many times I've been left speechless by the views either at the ocean or in the mountains, or in the city and it isn't just due to my lack of Spanish speaking. There really is some great diversity to witness.

The road to the Andes was rife with dangerous turns (60 in total) bicyclers going both up and down the mountain pass, cars, humans and animals also joined them. This road operates all times of the year which is really scary to think about with 1. the lead footed drivers in the city 2. the snow that will cover the roads here in a few months. Seriously, the road isn't wide enough in some places to manage two cars side by side. It's like two giant M&M's trying to fit through a doorway. But after 1.5 hours getting to the top Vanessa and I were rewarded with some of the most spectacular views that these near sighted eyes have seen. We easily eclipsed our past altitude record of 4000 feet during our trek up Mount Mansfield in Vermont with this trip up to view El Plomo at 9900 feet. Both of us had problems moving around as the lungs were begging for oxygen, but maybe the thin air made the views look that much better. Once we got to the top of the mountain we got a bit greedy and took a ski lift even higher that took us even closer to the El Plomo glacier. I think it was well worth it for the extra views and the lunch that we had after we came back down from the mountain top. I think I had the same feeling you get when you look up at the night sky and really get the full impact of how many stars are up there.

The trip back down the mountain equaled a street luge with 8 people hanging on. There were a few passengers on the bus that were sleeping. I could have napped, but Vanessa's death grip made it a bit difficult to sleep let alone breathe.

After washing up and taking a quick rest we got ready to go to dinner. Let me side bar for a second and say that I love watching TV here. They have HBO, Cinemax and some other movie channel and they continue to show all these good movies that I've wanted to see. I can even justify it in that the movies are English with Spanish subtitles. I think that counts for credit toward something.

Anyway, we get dressed up and head over to Los de Adobes Argomeda. It's a restaurant where they serve a lot of meat and have a lot of people dancing. They even pull patrons up from their seat to join in the fun. It seems like a mix of "Dancing with the Stars" meets Brazilian Steakhouse. We ate like kings and queens and then the gringo (me or yo) got picked on to dance the Cueca (the dance of Chile). In the authentic version the man spins a handkerchief around his head while the woman returns the gesture. In this version, the gringo walked around and tried to remember the dance moves that were learned about 2.5 years ago. I kept smiling and tried hard not to sweat to badly, but I failed miserably at both. The results were laughable, but at least I was in good company with all the other gringos that were on some tour and looked as out of water as I did. It was another great day, and it really rounded out my Chilean experience. And we still have 3 more days.

Lobos Marinos

2009-03-10T10:16:00.007-03:00

Hello everyone,
We're back from our trip to the coast. Vanessa and I are getting ready to head out to the Andes, but I wanted to give you the updated map showing our travels. I feel like we've been doing so much that its hard to document it all. My hope is to at least get something on the map and then update the descriptions when we get back. Even then, I don't think words do justice to some of the things we're seeing and doing. I will say that things are certainly simpler and smaller here. From the paper towels to the single serve yogurts (yes, you can break one yogurt off the pack of six and buy it). It just seems like a simpler way of life, which I can certainly appreciate. It just takes some getting used to. Except for the updates on my laptop, I've been successfully unplugged from email and work for one week. I'm trying hard not to think of the mounting email which could eclipse the local mountain range.

Chao!

Dinner in Bed

2009-03-06T08:31:00.007-04:00

Vanessa's cousins took us out for dinner Thursday night at a wonderful restaurant in Santiago. The restaurant was called "Like Water for Chocolate" and I can certainly say that this was probably one of my favorite destinations thus far. The restaurant was laid out pretty normally, except that the table was made up like a bed with chairs around it. There was even a pillow at the head of the table. I couldn't help but notice the people outside staring through the window at us as we dined on various foods. After the usual Pisco Sour we moved on to appetizers and then to the main course. I couldn't begin to describe what I ordered so I took a picture. Basically it was too skewers of meat. One with chicken wrapped in bacon, and the other one was beef injected with prunes. They were stabbed into two potato halves at the bottom and smothered in a cheese sauce. It was a tower to heaven. I don't really remember what everyone else had but it looked good. I was in a fog of food and ambiance-and it was wonderful. I made one mistake-having a cup of coffee after the meal-which ended around 10pm. I should have stayed up and finished working on this post rather than waiting until the end of the weekend, but I have so much more to write about the weekend, I'll leave this one short.

Back in the Saddle...

2009-03-04T17:33:00.009-04:00

Vanessa and I made our first solo trip on a horse today as we strolled through the Odfjell vineyards and their vast acres of grapes. Actually, they aren't called acres here, but that's all I could come up with. Maybe I'll think to correct it later. Our tour guide, Claudia was kind enough to take us around the vineyard via horseback and then give us a tour of the winery. It's about 1.5 months before the harvest so the only action we saw were from the grapes getting fat and Vanessa's horse being insolent. We then got to sample some of the great grapes at the vineyard and take home a few bottles of their finest. Actually, they didn't even have their finest wines as the majority of their product is shipped abroad, but we still got to enjoy some good stuff. I would say that riding the horse through the vineyard completely enhanced the experience. I can see why some people love riding. It's really amazing to see how the horse responds to your commands or the movement of the reigns. Very cool indeed. I look forward to the experience again once my rear end stops being sore.

Of course we needed to eat a little something after touring the vineyard, so what better way to quell our appetites than to get some food at the local german eatery. Apparently, the germans have inflitrated Chile heavily since the 1920's and have made quite a presence there. I let Vanessa's dad order for me and you'll see the results below. As best as I could tell, that's a pig knee with mashed potatoes. It was delicious! Yes, my body is starting to hate me.

Getting my 570 pesos worth

2009-03-03T10:18:00.006-04:00

Well we're four (cuatro) days into our Chilean experience. I've been documenting the landmarks we've been visiting over the last few days. Hopefully I can keep up so you can keep up with us on our travels. We've already been to some cool places, and we haven't even left the city yet. Here's the link to the map if you're interested in following along.

http://maps.google.com/maps/ms?hl=en&ie=UTF8&msa=0&msid=113280595166154528090.0004642229fb64341c6b6&t=h&z=13

Chao!

Im the camera man enjoying the sites, sounds and tastes of Donde Augusto (Where to your liking). I think the one guy is wearing a Davey Crockette cap. Vanessa's aunt and uncle are doing a good job hanging with the guitar players. This was before I almost passed out from eating all the seafood.

My Google is Spanish

2009-03-01T09:10:00.005-04:00

In case I didn't speak to you over the last few days, I wanted to let you know that I'm not ignoring you. I'm in Chile, the land that cellular phone time forgot. Actually, its something I'm going to blame on Verizon. I have the Blackberry World Edition but it doesn't work in Chile. I think this fits into the "false advertising" category but I can also understand that it may be tough to fit "World Edition except Chile and some parts of of Argentina" on the phone face. It's not a bad thing I guess, since I should probably shoot for a new personal record for not checking email. I think my record to date is 5 days.
A quick observation-everything in Chile is smaller. Smaller food, smaller rooms, smaller elevators, smaller cars, even smaller paper towels. I'm having a hard time getting used to it-but I certainly could. It's not a bad thing but it certainly takes some getting used to.
What I was pleasantly surprised about was having internet access, both wireless and wired, in my room. I figured that we would be connected, but I didn't realize it would be so easy to get access to the internet. I was even greeted to the Spanish version of Google when I booted up the laptop this morning. It figures that Google is on top of things.
I'll try and write down some of our chronicles over the next few days. It may serve to give me my fix in absence of pecking out emails. Maybe I can post my email count without falling to temptation to read them. I'll take over/under bets on the number. I'm guessing 253 after 2 weeks.

Unfocused Rudeness

2009-02-23T23:17:00.008-04:00

In the "mildly annoying, but unavoidable so you better just live with it" category falls the two slights I witnessed over the last few days. 1. A person at the gym putting their workout "Gear" on another piece of workout equipment. This is one of those slights that really bugs the heck out of me. The rudeness in this is that the offender puts the onus on the other person to move their stuff to use the piece of equipment. P.M. Forni, writer of "The Civility Solution," refers to this as "Unfocused Rudeness" and nowhere is it more evident than at the gym. But this time I didn't just work around the T-shirt and cell phone sitting on the bench. No, I had pecs to juice and they needed to get worked out. So I picked up the person's stuff and put it on a nearby table. I think I go beyond the norm for being polite at the gym. I rack my weights at the gym. I rack other people's weights. I even line up the plate weights in order and make sure that weights of the same circumference are together. I'm sure there's someone out there who does just the opposite, thus we cancel each other out. Of course, after I acted I completely over analyzed the situation while doing my sets and had visions of the person coming over and wondering what happened to his stuff and then what would I say to him. How would I one up his insult by explaining how rude he was to everyone else in the gym. Or maybe I would just turn up my ipod and pretend I couldn't hear him. In the end, the guy came up and thanked me for moving his stuff for him. He actually said thanks..twice. Maybe he was being sarcastic. As a 1b. I saw him later talking on his cell phone while doing machine bicep curls. If I were the person on the other line I would think about asking them to call me back after they got done using the bathroom. I'm all for streamlining and being efficient, but come on. There are some things that you just shouldn't multi-task. I'm sure I can come up with plenty of examples of uni-tasking which might make for a good New Year's resolution as I watch TV, write this blog, and listen to music. Side question, are shows on TNT like "Trust Me" or "Saving Grace" supposed to be funny or witty? I don't know if they satisfy either.

So back to number 2. The people that literally catapult you out of your airplane seat by grabbing a hold of it at the top and then slinging themselves around and into the seat behind you. What adds to this slight is the fact that the person behind me was a FLIGHT ATTENDANT. Like the Michelin man driving your car 50mph over speed bumps with flat tires this person should know better than anyone that this really annoys the peanuts out of other people. I fly enough that I'm sensitive to it and I make sure I don't do it to other people. I understand that while in flight people go rummaging around in the back pocket of the seats and those paper thin cushions pass along all that movement to the person in front of them. Its unavoidable. But, when you see the seat in front of you jolts forward like one of those playground horses on a spring it should make you step back and say "Whoops.," maybe I should be more careful next time. I'm amazed that when sharing such close places with people other people see no issue with thinking about anything other than themselves. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since there's plenty of people out there that won't say anything to these people (myself included). I remember a woman yelling at the entire coach class prior to us taking off during one of my trips. She yelled at all the "cattle" hogging up the overhead space. As she took her seat (in coach by the way) a few of the others yelled back "sit down" and "you're in coach too." Part of me was pretty embarrassed for her. The other part of me took my hat off to her for speaking her mind and doing something I would never do. I also appreciate that she gave me such a good story to tell other people when they ask how I like traveling.

I guess the bottom line is that it's really a balancing act. People need to be more respectful of others. They should keep their stuff off the weight benches and let other people use the equipment. And they shouldn't catapult people out of their seats on airplanes. In return, people shouldn't take these minor slights personally or as offenses against them. If some woman wants to yell about not having any overhead space then maybe someone should step up and try to help make some more space. As a bonus, maybe TNT could stop making all these melodramas. Is the guy from "Will & Grace" supposed to be dating the guy from "Ed?" They sure do argue like a couple.

"Hand, Foot, Something like that..."

2009-02-15T23:39:00.005-04:00

Happy Valentines day to all you lovers out there, even if it is only temporary. Nothing sucks the love right out of anyone's day like race weekend here in Daytona Beach Florida. Vanessa and I were treated to road closures and know-nothing police officers that didn't know the local geography of the area or the nearest cross streets. When Vanessa asked if we would be allowed to turn on Hand (our nearest cross street) the officer joked, "Hand, foot, it's all the same to me." In fact most of the county's finest were in a jocular mood. I guess laughter is the best medicine when 250,000 people are jammed up into a tiny town like John Goodman in a pair of skinny jeans like the kids are wearing these days. I guess I shouldn't be amazed that there's a lack of project management in these types of arrangements. It just seems to me like a project of such grand scale such as removing so many people out of an area would take a lot of planning. Its probably just rote after all these years that certain things happen in certain ways and no one really wants to speak up about not knowing the plan. Nothing like being held hostage by a sport that has its roots in the bootlegging and moonshine industry. Maybe all the funny talk and confusion is due to the lack of oxygen to the brain from the constriction of my skinny jeans.

Raise your hand if you rinse your dishes before you put them in the dishwasher. I've been told that I don't have to rinse them before I put them in. My dad would say "Don't rinse those dishes, that's what a dishwasher does." But, I've lived in enough apartments where I've been told that I have to rinse the dishes before I put them in. I must surmise that there has to be some sort of appliance preservation going on since I'm sure that with authorization, people would stick a turkey carcass in the dishwasher if it was stuck to a plate. I'd say I'm somewhere in the middle (surprise) but probably leaning more toward the cleaner side. This is especially easy with a garbage disposal. Solids down the disposal, salmonella in the dishwasher. I try hard not to dry the dishes after they come out of the dishwasher because then I really feel like Im getting ripped off by the dishwasher and I want to ask it "So do you expect me to wash them too?" or "What am I paying you for?" But sometimes I just appreciate not having to wash things by hand like I was forced to as a kid. We had a dishwasher, but I think that I was forced to do it anyway just so I could learn to appreciate appliances or standing on my feet or something. Parents, feel free to chime in on that life lesson.

In "Triumph in the kitchen news" I vanquished my wife and expert cook Vanessa in the egg boiling contest. Not only did I boil an egg to perfection, I also flew in the face of some expert cooks that have all these secrets to boiling an egg. In fact, I purposely tried to fail in hopes that I would prove how easy it was to boil an egg. Full disclosure here, I cant cook my way out of a paper bag and I can't spell Mirepouix (a combination of onions, carrots and celery) but something this Yorkian can do is hard boil an egg. You don't need to dump the egg in ice after boiling it or double boil it and then let it cool. You just put in the eggs and bring them to a boil for a few minutes and then let them cool. Something you should not do though, is wait for the water to boil and then put the eggs in. That was my only minor setback and I deserved the egg explosion that ensued when I angered the poultry gods in such a heinous act.

Happy week after Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you survived and are getting ready for the next big holiday, whatever it is that the stores are foisting upon us. For those of you at home keeping score its T-minus 2 weeks and counting until the Mrs. and I set sail for Chile. Ole!

You Put the U in Phoenix

2009-02-08T11:52:00.004-04:00

This week I was lucky enough to travel back to Phoenix with all the beaten down Cardinals fans. Many of them were not in their Cardinal attire, unlike their winning counterparts. I'm amazed that people would walk through an airport with blackout under their eyes or black and gold skirts on, but I guess its all worth it since their team won the Super Bowl. It will really be worth it when they get a cut of the championship money or get a day with the Lombardi trophy.
While in Phoenix I had to laugh at some of the old reading material lambasting Pittsburgh fans as being rednecks. They had pictures to prove it. It was all very convincing looking at the pictures of kids painted in black and gold(I assume since the pictures were black and white) and full grown men in a parking lot cooking a pig on a grill. But the record scratched a bit (and credibility lost) when I looked across to the other page to see a young woman dressed in a Low cut camouflage tube top that was cut short so you could see her stomach. She was holding an automatic assault rifle and was part of an advertisement for a local gun shop. Closing the magazine, I noticed that the pictures of the "rednecks" and this woman laid right on top of each other. It was a weird moment but too obvious to miss the irony.
I also had the pleasure of being told by a radiologist that he loved me. Actually it was more like "I Love U!" Literally, he loved the Letter U on the keyboard and what it did in our application that he was learning how to use. I actually pulled victory from the jaws of defeat as he was about to be very unhappy about our inability to easily delete measurements. I showed him the Letter U key to toggle and he was in love. He repeatedly exclaimed "I Love U." This was surprising, embarrassing, and amusing all at the same time as we were in a room with other radiologists and trainers. I wouldn't dare break a smile or let on that his feelings for me were amusing (but not reciprocated) because I've learned a long time ago to not make people feel awkward or uncomfortable when learning something new. I shared in his triumph and affinity for our keyboard shortcut and rolled on.
As an aside, I really enjoyed the Phoenix, Tempe, Scottsdale area-especially during this time of year. The Western winter weather beats out the southern winter weather. I do find the dryness of the heat a bit more enjoyable then the damp weather here which actually makes it seem colder and clammier than it really is (sorry Northerners, you'll get the warm weather soon). I also loved the random rock formations just jutting out from the ground. I also found some nifty running paths leading to these rock formations and had a few moments to watch a sunset in the west. I can easily see why there are so many spiritual people out there. The mountains and weather make it tough to not believe in a higher power. I think it's similar to looking out upon the vastness of the ocean or night sky. Nothing against the Midwest, or even central Florida, but diversity in the land is something that everyone should be around. It beats the pants off flat. The downtown in Tempe was awesome as well. It was a good mix of stores, restaurants, pedestrian traffic, and public transportation. There was even a smoking ban in restaurants, which really made my lungs smile. I say thumbs up to Phoenix....at least over the winter.

(Lung)Tar heel State

2009-02-01T17:19:00.005-04:00

Last week I had the treat of returning to Winston-Salem North Carolina to work with one of our customers. There's a restaurant there that is beloved by the staff at the site. I've even heard that their Three Cheese Pasta and Chicken can compete with anything outside the Tarheel state. Upon entering the restaurant, or any restaurant in North Carolina, I'm always greeted by an unwelcome friend-the acrid smell of cigarette smoke. I was aware of this during my last visit so wasn't really jazzed about returning. But the co-worker I was with was really excited about sitting down in front of a plate of pasta and chicken. I asked if he wanted to wash his meal down with swill from a dirty ash tray, but he wasn't deterred.

Upon our arrival, I asked if we could stay away from the bar and sit in the "Non Smoking" section. We had to wait a few extra minutes for seats to open up in this section and boy was it completely not worth it. First off, the whole idea of Non-smoking versus smoking sections in any establishment are just ridiculous. It should be lots of smoke vs. a little less smoke. I could feel my little alveoli shriveling as I sat there reading the table card asking patrons not to smoke pipes or cigars. I don't know if it counts as ironic, but its funny. The other amusing part of this is that while we were sitting in the "Non smoking section" we were one half wall away from the bar and the Smoking section. Its another great reason to visit the Lung-Tar State.

I did some quick research on this and it turns out that North Carolina struck down the proposed smoking ban in May 2007. I liked the quote from one of the smoking ban's opponents.

Rep. Ric Killian a Republican -- said, "I believe upholding private property rights is simply more important to the fabric of our society than the effects of secondhand smoke."

I guess there isn't much else you can say to defend your position on smoking. There's got to be some other solution. I've been to Atlanta and have seen how they have this hermetically sealed room where all the smokers stay and light up. No smoke leaves and it must be one heck of a buzz. The restaurants have a bar area encased in glass and as the door closes you hear the woosh of the tight seal. I think that's appropriate and fair.

Reviewing Wikipedia I found that only 15 states have no smoking ban in place. And that North Carolina in 1993 expressly prohibits any smoking restrictions to be passed by any form of local government. This is amazing and confusing. I'm sure that there could be some connection made between the lack of a smoking ban and the state's proximity to the Philip Morris headquarters in Richmond VA.

To say that I'm a staunch anti-smoking advocate is an overstatement. I don't even know where I stand on the government's right to limit one's free will to smoke a cigarette. We certainly haven't banned drinking alcohol and its very tough to say that drunk driving doesn't impact other people much like smoking. So maybe the only thing I can think of is the world of moderation. In the world of moderation a little drinking shouldn't harm you. In fact it should help you (please let them be right). But smoking in moderation is still bad for you and its bad for others, especially kids. I can't even enjoy a "little" cigarette smoke in the air. It makes me feel bad and it makes me stink. Missing the smoke from the bar was such a great feeling. I could wake up from a night out and people couldn't even smell that I was at a bar-except for the occasional time or two when I'd still be wearing my clothes from the night before, but I digress. I also like that some sites left it up to the establishment. Either ban smoking, or keep smoking but don't allow people under 18 into the joint. I think that's a good balance between freedom and responsibility.
One last fact, and I'll leap off the soap box. A non-smoking bartender inhales the equivalent of 36 cigarettes during an 8 hour shift. That has to make it one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. I certainly don't expect to live forever, but I'd like to have an enjoyable quality of life for awhile. If it turns out that storing and eating food out of Gladware containers leaked harmful chemicals into my body then so be it. I think I can shrug and say "Who knew?" But I think the smoking thing should be a no brainer.

Everyone remembers their first time...

2009-01-24T23:05:00.004-04:00

Wilawok goes international! I want to send a shoutout to my readers in Italy and Saudi Arabia. I have a pretty good idea of who one of the two visitors are. One is my cousin Brian in Italy. Buongiorno Brian and thanks for humoring me. The other is from Saudi Arabia. A Riyadh reader spent a mind bending 5 minutes reading my blogs. I don't know how you got to my blog, but thanks for giving it a read. I don't know if my material has international relevance, but its great to see my work is getting worldwide readership. I'd love to know if the person actually was reading the blog, or just spent time showing friends this moron from Florida in a wool hunting hat in one of my last posts.

So back to the title of this week's rambling. I had the unfortunate displeasure of taking a spill this morning toward the end of my bicycle ride. What really sucks is that I made it 35 miles through Ormond Beach unscathed and was really enjoying the almost 70 degree weather on this fine January day. Right as I turned into my development I took my eyes of the road to see if I would have to negotiate the entrance to our apartment development and failed to notice the discrepancy between the newly poured road and sidewalk. By the time I realized that I had run into the slight curb created between the two surfaces I was already losing control of the bike. I wish I could have seen myself fall because 1. I would have liked to see how I got myself into such a predicament 2. I bet it was really funny to see the awkward fall that can only be created when a bike rider is using clipless pedals. Clipless pedals are great for locking the rider into the pedals and allowing for better transfer to the pedals, but they really suck when you lose control and go sideways. I guess the pros have the frame of mind to unclip while falling. I just hold on while flying through the air. I think the bike and my right shoulder took the brunt of the fall. I was able to get up and shrug most of the pain off. The bike seems to be alright and I was at least able to get the fall out of the way. As my buddy Stuffy says, "There are two types of riders, those that fall, and those that are going to." I also think of that statistic that you'd always hear as a kid that most accidents happen within 5 miles of the home. Or maybe it was 25 miles. I don't know because I think I also bumped my head when I hit the ground. That was probably my first legitimate bicycling accident, not including the other time I moronically stopped pedaling my bike and also forgot to clip out of my pedals. I balanced on two wheels a second or two before tipping over and falling in the bushes. There's another time where I could have seen myself have an awkward fall. Come to think of it, I was right outside our apartment complex when it happened and it had to do with those pedals. The other saying comes to mind...history repeats itself.

Otherwise, the bicycling is going well. Its amazing to me how exhausted I get riding with the local cycling club. I love the fact that after getting my legs and lungs scorched I can shower up and function for the rest of the day. It isn't that sustained beating that I take from running. I will say that I have bonked more times biking than I have running. Bonking, for those of you that don't know is the term for when you're body "hits the wall" or runs out of steam or whatever you want to call it. I'm sure some researcher has a better explanation for why and how it happens, but basically it feels like you're moving through 4 hour old Cream of Wheat. Maybe its easier to pace yourself running because for me it pretty much hurts the entire way so I don't try to get too overzealous. But out on the bike its so easy to get carried away in the group when everyone's flowing and the pace is quick. I feel like I can carry that speed the entire time and why doesn't the leader just pick it up a notch. Then a few miles later, the misery sets in. Things get dark and I realize I started out a little too quick. My legs are mush and my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth as I ever so slightly fall off the back wheel of the rider in front of me. Its a bit bruising to the ego, but a good education. And maybe that's why it hasn't happened as much with running. Ive been dropped enough times to get that understanding of survival mode. I think bicycling will give me the same education, maybe in a different way. And hopefully, I only have a few minor lessons to learn.

Its Ok to Look

2009-01-10T08:31:00.007-04:00

These online dating websites seem all the rage these days. I even know a few people that have gotten married after meeting "online." I bet there's probably a statistic out there on the growing number of people that can say they met and got married through these sites. I'd like to know that percentage of people that know these types of people (Count me as one who knows 2 couples-one was back in 1998). Over the holiday I heard a few stories about how my family member's met their significant other and it just amazes me at how much easier it could have been if we had this online opportunity to meet the opposite sex. Maybe I wouldn't have had to wait 18 years to have my first girlfriend. It seems like the beauty of the online dating is twofold 1. You cast a wider net. You're not limited to the girls or guys in your class, job, church, grocery store etc. (Remember that one kid that was always dating girls from other schools, or other grades). 2. You completely eliminate the initial face to face interaction. It's like you're behind the one sided glass mirror letting you see the pool of applicants on the other side. I've done some interesting things to meet women as Im sure the rest of my readers have as well. I usually resorted to the shock and awe or friend tactic. Either I'd come up and surprise the girl with something bold and hope for the best, or slowly work my way in and hope I didnt end up on the friend wagon (which I ended up on more than a few times). My one grandfather, a veteran of WWII used a story about a pebble that he picked up for the girl he was courting, saving him from being shot by a sniper(that woman is my grandmother). My other grandfather that fled Europe during WWII with my grandmother took the bold approach and simply told her "You're coming with me" as they left the work camps in Germany. My dad got hooked up with my mom through a buddy in the Air Force that was dating my mom's sister at the time.

These stories seem a lot like some higher calling or Serendipity that brought people together. Now its just a matter of throwing your profile out there and see what you pull in. I'm not saying its easy, Im sure its tough putting yourself out there for the world to see, but you cant argue that its at least 10 times easier than going up to a person in any social setting and risking the fear of rejection.

While out on a run the other day. I was wondering what my profile would say if I had to write one up myself. So with the comfort of not having to worry about finding a mate, below is my (insert dating website here) profile.

Let's start right out with it. I'm not great at really anything. I could be considered as open minded or just non-commital. I can see the other side of things and there's certainly much more gray than black and white out there. I might be better than average at most things that I attempt. I'm an achiever in that I judge the success of my day based on how many items I can cross off my list. Im anal about having a clean kitchen, even though I dont cook. I'm pretty smart from all the mistakes I've made. I'm not as funny as I used to be, but I think its because Im out of practice. I get cranky when I cant exercise, but also get cranky when I have a bad workout. I like being with people, but could also hang out in another room reading a book if a party is going on in another room. I will go bald sooner than the average male. I'll also hopefully live longer than the average male due to my daily workout routine. I always like learning stuff and continually attempt to improve myself. I wish I didnt watch so much TV and could probably do without it, but I could spend a day watching movies. I can fall asleep in less than a minute if comfortable and I do my best work in the morning. I have a mishapen head, but you only notice when looking at me from the side. I love video games so much I won't play them. I've run a marathon and have drank really hot hot sauce right out of a bottle. I've made one adult friend and think horseradish could make your brain cells die prematurely. I've had a few flashes of personal greatness in my life. One of those times is when I randomly scored a soccer goal from mid-field while in youth soccer. It was as random as it was automatic. I was never really good at soccer and I never really matured in my soccer skills, but that day shocked and amazed me. It still brings a smile to my face and it's one of those neat little memories that makes me proud of myself. It's like I know there could still be other greatness inside me that's completely untapped and unreachable at almost all times. It just has to happen at the right time, and I trust that it will so I can't force it.

So there it is. I don't really know how I'd fare with the profile these days. I'm guessing that it probably needs to be shorter, but its my blog not their dating site, so I'll make my own rules. I just wonder if there will ever be a return back to meeting girls the old fashioned way. Now my only hope is that my wife Vanessa doesn't read this and realize that she wants her money back.

Water on the Knee for $200

2009-01-02T13:56:00.004-04:00

Its been a Holiday chock full of family, food, friends and full on battles of brain and brawn during this holiday season. I was sitting in my in-laws kitchen looking at the mighty Verrazanno narrows bridge for inspiration for most of this blog. I'm not even sure where to begin so I'll break it down the best I can-probably in scattered fashion.

Running and exercise: Ive actually been able to string together a few decent workouts while up in the frigid north. I'm glad that I didn't donate all my clothing when we moved to Florida. But I'm also realizing that I'm running in clothing that I wore in college. Maybe its time to upgrade the swishy pants from 12 years ago. They still keep me warm, but unlike wine I don't think these things get better with age and sweat. I'm also quite disappointed at how these gyms and fitness centers charge you out the nose to work out there for one day. 10 or 20 bucks doesn't sound to bad, but considering the monthly membership fee is $50 I think they're putting the screws to you unnecessarily. The whole fact that I'm paying for exercise is a bit annoying, but I'm eating and drinking enough that I can't really go without it. As a helpful tip to anyone interested, these gyms will usually waive their fee if you're staying at a local hotel, so I often put on my persona of Eric Schrodey staying at Hotel X in room 117. Better not to guess a higher floor in case its only a single floor hotel. Inevitably, I feel guilty for stealing the exercise and think they're going to call the hotel to check, but just like car sales and consulting these people have to know they're ripping people off so they don't say anything. By the way, people on the cardio equipment, Quit leaning on the handles and bars! Jacking up the grade or resistance does little if you're attached to the handles for dear life. I'm amazed at how much I see this. That's as much as I'm going to yell on this post.

Activities and pastimes: I was also treated to a few old school pleasures of mine. One was playing ping pong and the other was the childhood favorite, Operation. Ping pong balls were a-flying at my friend's house last week and maybe it was the adult beverages that were being consumed in unison, but I think I was playing much better than I have ever played in the past. Mind you, Ive probably played ping pong about a dozen times in my life, but maybe that's something that you get better at with age. Or, maybe I was channeling the power of those Olympic ping pong players that would stand 3-4 feet back from the table as they just waled on each other with the ping pong paddle. Either way, it was a good time and fully worth the sweat that I worked up. I don't know if Operation is at the other end of the spectrum in terms of gaming, but that was certainly another throwback from the past where anyone gets to play surgeon by removing funny plastic items from a plastic and cardboard body and then collect exorbitant amounts of money. This generation's Operation gets "upgraded" with some famous character that you would imagine that it would be funny to operate on. In our case it was Homer Simpson (I could imagine a creepy one would be Michael Jackson, or anyone in the Jackson family). A bit of a downgrade was that the board no longer vibrates or gives you the feeling that you're being shocked if you hit the metal sides. Now you just get Homer's nose to light up and he makes some nasty comment. My graphic designer friend gave the early disclaimer that he had an unfair advantage being that he draws straight lines for a living, thus has a steady hand. But he was easily trounced by the other friend that's in the pharmaceutical business. I'm sure there's a lesson in there for all the kids when they're trying to decide what they want to do with their lives.

Of course we played Operation on New Year's eve so nothing goes together like Dick Clark, Operation and a bottle of spirits (actually a few bottles of spirits). Maybe I missed something but I got the feeling that they wheeled Dick in for the ball drop play-by-play and then that block face Ryan Seacrest hogged the rest of the show. I think there was even one point where both of them were in a shot together and I saw that camera pan in on Seacrest as Dick was talking to him. Either I saw it or I just wanted me to see it. Either way, it made me kind of feel uncomfortable. Kind of like you feel when you'd bump the side of the wall while playing operation.

2008-12-21T21:43:00.008-04:00

Well the second annual sojourn up north was a big success. We made the trek yesterday from tropical Ormond Beach Florida to majestic Brooklyn NY in a little under 16 hours. We made a few stops but on the whole it was all ahead full speed (which was warp speed for Vanessa, and regular speed for me). We got a little crazy and actually made the drive in one day. I guess we were feeling a little frisky yesterday and our ever aging bladders also cooperated. Before you think we roughed it too much I have to disclose that we had 5 year smoked Gouda, Salami, crackers, artichoke dip and chocolate covered coffee beans to fuel our furnaces. Hey we’re not 18 roughing it in the Vanagon with triskets and cheese whiz-grow up already!

One of our stops was at the Savannah airport where we switched out Yoda the Toyota (my T-100 pickup to those not acquainted) for the rental car. Rental cars in Florida are an expense proposition this time of year so it saves to rent from a northern neighbor. Savannah is right off the highway and about 4 hours away from Ormond Beach, so it’s a good driving break and it saves some “Do-rae-mi” as our friend Charlie would say. Well we probably tempted the discount gods a bit too far as we solicited the help of William Shatner (the original James T. Kirk from Star Trek fame and the lead of T.J. Hooker) and his Priceline website. Billy saved us some cash by karate chopping more money off our rental car by letting us name our own price. That money was exchanged for anger and frustration at the airport as we dealt with a less than enthused Alamo “customer service” representative. I wouldn’t normally mention the name of the rental car company, but since I think they’re partially at fault I’m not holding back. First we were told that our rental was due back Sunday at 11am. Our agent didn’t seem to believe us though. Once we tracked down our reservation and showed the slow motion clerk that our rental was scheduled to be back at 3pm everything changed. Magically the rental was changed to be returned at 3pm. She also didn’t seem to recognize the questions of my significant other so I had to re-question her with the same question. Annoying and unprofessional were some of the words that came to my mind. Cranky and unprepared were words that may have come to her mind. Vanessa and I could have both spoken up and made a stink about it but as far as we could tell this person was the Lordess and ruler of Alamoville. So if she didn’t like us we would have been driving out of there in a Yugo. We kept our thoughts to ourselves. Our only punishment was that the lumbar support in the new Chevy Malibu were manual rather than automatic and the paddle shifters were a bit sluggish when I up shifted from first to second gear. So all in all, we made it out of there relatively unscathed.

After that minor hiccup Vanessa and I and our family full of electronic gadgets were on our way. We had it all. A GPS navigation system, two cell phones; both with internet access and email, 2 Ipods, 1 laptop, 1 electronically cooled cooler, 1 XM satellite radio and a partridge in a pair tree. Even with all of this stuff we still couldn’t find our rental agreement online for the lovely folks at Alamo. I think there was one point where both Vanessa and I were searching our Cell phones while I was firing up my laptop and trying to call Alamo customer service (who also had the same work ethic as the person at the rental counter).

I’ve come to realize that my parents were responsible for way more than I thought they were when they would plan for a trip. My dad would plan out the driving portion of the trip. He would get the maps and plan out the TripTiks . My mom would pack the clothes and get the snacks. All the logistics were planned out ahead of time; and they had to be because there was no calling on the drive to find out where the nearest hotel is. This is how people did it before all this technology made us all dumb and lazy; basically slaves to our Tom Toms. There was no checking on the fly for the nearest Burger King on the Blackberry (As an aside, Burger King is coming out with their own meat scented cologne. Rumor has it that its under the Kowaliw Christmas tree). It all had to be planned out ahead of time, and more times than not..it worked! I think it also added some much needed structure to the kids (me and my sister) who knew we damn well we better entertain ourselves for the next four hours. There would be no movies, no mp3 players and basically no coddling of the passengers. “You’re bored? Take a nap. Play thumb wars with yourself. Get unbored.” All valid answers to senseless questions. There was one point on the trip where I was completely reliant on the voice of our GPS (who was a bit bossier than I thought was necessary) to give me the right path. If she would have told me to drive into a hay field, I probably wouldn’t have obeyed, but I probably would still second guess myself. Sure it’s a lot more spontaneous and a lot less time consuming to plan a trip now, but I think we give up a lot of our own common sense when we rely on Greta the GPS.

I'm sure this realization reeks of a New Year’s resolution somewhere, but maybe I’ll just leave it as a lesson realized to try and rely a little less on technology and a little more on common sense. These little gadgets and applications are a great enhancement to our lives, but they’re still created by humans and they don’t think like us-especially when I get the hankering for Chic-Fil -A.

When You Come to Our Town....

2008-12-13T12:06:00.002-04:00

Apparently my last post stirred up a bit of controversy among my Brooklynite readers. Let me just set the record straight by saying that 1. I feel quite safe in Brooklyn 2. I've never ridden a bike in Brooklyn so I have no base or knowledge for bikes being stolen. I've heard rumors of cars being stolen and of a certain mothers-in-law trying to shoot at them with a bee bee gun, but again, those are unsubstantiated rumors so I have to assume that Brooklyn is indeed a safe haven for bikes, cars, graduate students and Christmas gifts. This is especially true when I compare it to other towns where Ive been verbally or physically accosted by the local townies for littering their streets with sweat and exercise. They must think I'm a moose or some other type of wild game. Brooklyn has been very accepting of my running self so for that I must be grateful, and I'll even forgive the Toll Officer that sent me back across the Verazanno bridge for not having money for the toll. Ah, that feels better to have that off my conscience.

What I should have done is bad mouthed another city (rhymes with fila-stealthia) where I did indeed suffer the loss of my personal belongings a few years ago. Apparently the city of brotherly love didn't include love of folks living in New Jersey. Upon leaving the wonderful Hilton hotel I noticed that I must have left a few buttons unbuttoned off the cover of my truck bed. The buttons left unbuttoned were actually at the front of the of the bed rather than the back. And somehow I also left the back window open-which I guess is possible since it was summer. But when I found the knife used to jimmy open the back window and a spot of blood on the window where the novice thief stabbed themselves while trying to do this I realized that I had been robbed. I hastily looked inside my truck to see what had been taken and wasn't surprised to see that I had been relieved of my CD's, stereo amplifier and subwoofer. None of these things were properly secured or hidden so I shouldn't have expected them to be secured. What wasn't taken was my Ipod, Stereo Head unit and two pairs of Oakley sunglasses. Maybe the thieves were disrupted before they could completely clear me out or they were as stupid as anyone who would be robbing a vehicle could be and didn't realize what they left behind.

To continue the streak of stupidity I was told by the hotel that they were sorry for my loss but not responsible for the loss of my items. I understood this, since there are signs peppered around the parking lot. But what I didn't understand was that they wanted to give me a free two night stay if and when I came back to their hotel. I politely declined their offer and put up enough stink to have them comp the night I stayed there. I packed up my belongings and moved across the river to another hotel near the customer that was apparently in a "bad area." I kept the knife as a memento of the occasion, but I don't think I'll use it to break into any cars while in Brooklyn.

Speaking of traveling...In my travels over the last few years I've been to some really cool cities such as Bozeman Montana, Ogden Utah, Portland Maine, Sturgeon Bay Wisconsin and Show Low Arizona. I've also been to some strange towns like Macomb IL, Kearney Nebraska, and Emporia Kansas. I guess the nature of my business takes me to some of these out of the way places. I really dont get to see much of these places since I'm usually camped out at the hospital or imaging center or driving around lost trying to find my hotel. Ive even been lost in the hotel trying to find my room. But there have been a few times where Ive been lucky enough to happen upon some pretty cool places. Bozeman is an awesome Rocky mountain town in Western Montana that actually had me feeling like my lungs were bleeding due to running at altitude, but also let me get to the summit of a mountain top where I could look out over the entire landscape and see God's country. It was awe-ful, or maybe it was the lack of oxygen that made me feel like I was really seeing something spectacular .

Show Low was another great place about 4 hours north of Phoenix. I had to drive there from Phoenix and luckily I took the long way back to the airport. Far from the ruler straight roads of Florida; there were certain places on my return ride to Phoenix where I had to switch back in one direction and then switch back to another while overlooking deep canyons and cliffs. I even got out of the car a few times to snap a few pictures. The fact that I stopped to take a picture should be impressive considering I'm all about getting from A to B as quickly as possible. This was worthwhile and I had a feeling that I'd really kick myself if I skipped over this opportunity.

Of course, for every Show Low and Bozeman there's a Cynthiana and Kokomo. For all the grand vistas and views there's a highway and a Waffle House. But I think the beauty of traveling, even for work, is getting to see all of this hodge podged, mixed up country. I'm still amazed at how big and diverse the country is. And its even better when you get to see it almost accidentally.

This Old House down Memory Lane

2008-12-06T21:18:00.008-04:00

Well I can say that thanks to my wonderful wife our Christmas shopping is almost complete. A few more gift cards and some bottles of wine and we'll be good to go. This was probably the first year where Vanessa and I weren't scrambling at the very last minute to get our shopping done. I'm even going to rub it in a little further and say that all that 45lb paper (read my last post) has been applied to all of the gifts and they're now waiting for Santa's Helper (UPS) to whisk them up north so we don't have to drive up to our family's homes and worry about hiding them whenever we stop in seedy areas. Its not that the areas we frequent are shady, its just that people can't be trusted in this day in age-especially in Brooklyn where someone can swipe the bicycle you're riding on if you stop at a light for more than a few seconds. So I think we're about to have ourselves a very responsible Christmas this year. Its almost enough to make me think about writing out Christmas cards. But then again, maybe not. Or maybe I could write out Christmas cards and include the link to the blog and then ask for money to support my new part time job as a blogger.
While shopping for all the kids in our families I was reminded how much I love Star Wars and GI Joe (notice I didn't use love in the past tense). I'm so stinkin' excited that they brought back the old school GI Joe and Star Wars action figures. Its like I'm back in 2nd grade again as I would pit Duke against Cobra Commander and try to figure out what "Warsaw Pact small arms" meant. Did they really pack small arms in Warsaw? I don't think I ever mixed genres of toys to include Lady Jay and Roadblock with Luke, Lando and Chewy. It just wasn't kosher and it really didn't make much sense. Maybe because one group was completely in the future and the other was from present day (circa 1980's). I'll mix my Thanksgiving meal, but not my action figures thank you very much.
What brought me back down amnesia lane is the fact that my 2 nephews are all about Star Wars. Cristian the 6yr old not only knows that Han Solo was frozen in carbonite, but also knows that Han Solo is also Indiana Jones played by Harrison Ford. The kid is crazy smart so I hope he realizes that the second set of Star Wars movies a.k.a the prequel pales in comparison to the original. I also just found out that my dad has brought down all of my old toys from the attic for my 5 year old nephew Garrett (I call him Gary or Ci-garette since I have to give everyone I know a nickname) to play with. I got a picture of him with the Hoth Rebel station, and my Han Solo laser pistol. He also had a few action figures on display. I'm not going to lie, I had a sudden urge to speak wookie and return to the Dagobah system. I could only imagine how it would literally take my breath away if someone opened up a crate and it was just full of toys. It brings me back to Christmas when I'd see, what seemed to me, a mound of toys. I actually think I remember almost being drunk with excitement. Of course it was 3am and no one should have known that I was awake. But still, there was no feeling like it. So when my nephew asked if he could inherit my Star Wars toys I had to give him the talk. But before I could give him the talk I had to answer a question from him. The question was "Uncle Seanie, why did you bite the heads off the Star Wars figures?" I knew that one day that chicken would come home to roost (yes I know its a cliche, but I think it fits here). My day of reckoning had come. Yes, I did bite the heads off some of my Star Wars figures. No, I don't remember why I did it. No, I didn't know they would be collectors items. Yes, I would get a replacement and bite its head off as well. Hey, I knew a kid that eats Crisco out of the can-whatever floats your boat.

I really didn't have a good explanation so I told Gary the truth. I told him that Darth Vader chopped them off with the integrated light saber in his arm. I know my dad put him up to this to get me back for destroying the family heirlooms from a galaxy far far away.

In a "B"celebrity citing moment. While in Chicago this week I kept my cab from getting stolen by one of the past host's of This Old House on PBS and currently the host of Extreme Green, Steve Thomas. At least, I think he was trying to take my cab, or maybe he was asking directions. All I knew is that it was cold and that I thought I knew the guy from the days of watching these home improvement shows with my dad. Sorry Steve, if it were Bob Vila I might have given up the cab. I tried to tell everyone who he was and the cabbie seemed interested, but I think he kept getting him confused with that guy Ty on "Extreme Home Makeover." The premise is kind of the same I guess, except the people from This Old House probably had a ton of money and were restoring old Victorian homes. That's what I get for watching PBS while everyone else was watching HBO or playing with their Nintendo. I think what really sold me on it being him was his voice. He has a very distinct voice and I think I have a bit of a talent for picking up voices (not hearing voices). But that's for another post.

Garble Garble & a Clothing Basket Full of Food

2008-11-26T20:55:00.009-04:00

Ah yes, the holidays. Its that time of year when hopes, dreams and expectations all come crashing down upon us. This holiday season we're measuring wrapping paper by the pound. Literally, we're looking at the "poundage" of the paper. Experts say that if you feel it you'll really notice the difference between 40 and 50lb paper. Vanessa actually said to me that we have to have at least a minimum of 45lb paper. I don't think it will keep the youthful gift grabbers from getting to their toys, but it just oozes quality craftsmanship while sitting under the tree all tightly wrapped. And we will seek out and purchase this paper because my wife will not be denied the tools to perform a masterful wrapping (not rapping, but that would be good too) of gifts.
This year especially it seems like everyone is hopping right over Thanksgiving and clawing their way to Christmas. For the first time ever I was out with my well prepared wife to get our shop on. Maybe it was the nice weather or people were just bored but everyone was pretty jovial as we made our way through Target, Barnes & Nobles Booksellers and the Mall of Millenia in Orlando. I think I almost got a legitimate "hello" from the greeter at Banana Republic. I don't think Christmas has had time to frazzle people yet and maybe that's a relief. I know I felt a little less stressed, or maybe it was my wife caressing my cheek with wrapping paper.
But let's get one thing straight. We will not rush through Thanksgiving. My wife's family is renowned for their poultry preparation as can be validated by the only commenter on my blog (Rallo, you know what I'm talking about). I am all ready to go to town on that bird and its accoutrement's tomorrow. Ive even been signing some of my work emails as Thanksgiving related pseudonyms in preparation of the big day. Thanksgiving certainly isn't my favorite holiday, but as I mature and I take a little more pleasure in food I can certainly appreciate a hearty meal made with love. An exception to the rule is cranberry sauce. It has to be out of the can and I have to hear the sucking sound as it releases itself from the can and wiggles itself into the dish. Fantastic!
Our community had a neat little event last weekend where people volunteer to put together big clothes baskets full of food and household items and then had them delivered to others in need. I really liked the idea that these baskets were put together by families with other families in mind. It seemed a lot more personal than just donating a can of something, especially when you get to walk up to the family's door and hand them the basket. Of the three homes that Vanessa and I delivered to I think only one of them knew what was happening. The other neat part about it is that the donaters and recipients are both anonymous so when we handed over the basket we just tell the family that this is a gift from a friend in the community and to have a Happy Thanksgiving. The list of people needing help is pretty diverse and the names come from school teachers, counselors and police officers so the list usually stretches beyond the boundaries of the normal families in need. Its easy to be cynical about these folks in "need" especially if they're living in dwellings that are in all regards were not that bad. But who knows what these people are going through, especially with everything going on in 2008. Its interesting to think about what these people did after they received the baskets. Maybe they put it with the other baskets that they received. Maybe they prayed and gave thanks since they didn't know where their next meal was going to come from. I'd like to think that they were so shocked and happy that they were speechless and didn't really know what to say. I guess I left these folks wishing I could do more for them but was happy that I might have made their day a little better. Even with everything we've been through in the economy this year the news has still been mixed with the dyslexic stories of excess. I'm amazed at how many people still want more "stuff" even after they have so much more than they need. As I walked away from these families I couldn't help but think selfishly, that if my family was ever in need some other anonymous member of the community would come to my aid with a clothing basket full of food because someone helped them out way back in the day. And maybe the basket would include a couple cans of cranberry sauce. Let's all give thanks for all we've received.

-Mashed Potatoes

Christmas Is Mine Trebek!

2008-11-17T21:19:00.009-04:00

I spent the week last week doing a much needed email cleanup at work and complaining about how it was a wee bit nippy in the pool last week, and a slight bit chilly on the run. I then realized that its about a week away from Thanksgiving, so maybe I should quit my whining and be happy that I made it through the long hot summer. Enjoy your turtlenecks you northern sweater monkeys!

I was also treated to playing phone-in Santa with my niece and nephew over the phone. Let me explain. Due to some work arrangements the old man is working on Christmas day. Someone (me) came up with the bright idea of moving Christmas out one day. I think its brilliant for a lot of reasons which include the opportunity to not drive through the night to get to my parents house by 3am and then sleep for a few hours and then be woken up by the kid parade. But this plan takes some fandangling with the young ones, especially when the 8 year old, Kylene is learning days, months, and years as well as the holidays. Santa apparently needed to give his stamp of approval to this change. It was supposed to be simple enough. I was going to call my mom as Santa and let her know that I would delay my gift drop off a day. But things went horribly wrong when I hear my mom grant the request of the kids to talk to Santa. This must break some sort of Santa to child confidentiality agreement. Maybe the kids would only ask Yes or No questions and I could get away with a few gruff responses. Of course, they don't ask any Yes or No questions, they only answer in Yes and No. Their questions were really involved and full of detail. I certainly couldn't be described as having a voice similar to Isaac Hayes so I was really in trouble. I might have been able to pull something off if it were the morning, and I had some coffee. Or maybe if I had some preparation singing along with Berl Ives (on my Ipod) in the shower. I've been described at best as nasally and somewhat high pitched so I doubt highly there are many of those vocally mapped Santas that get hired at the mall.

Still, I had an audience and had to make the best of it. I sounded out a few "hhhmmm's" and then a few more "hhhhmmm's." I think I probably sounded like George Takei from the old Star Trek pondering whether he would wear the feather boa or the pant suit to his wedding. But the questions from the kiddos got tougher and I had no choice. Especially when their questions were off base and inaccurate. They were asking Santa to skip Christmas for Uncle Seanie and Nessa which I think was just them goading me into trying to give up the charade. Garrett the 5 year old really laid it on thick with his plea to move Christmas one day for his Uncle Seanie and Nessa. I had to respond. What came out of my mouth was some weird mix between Adam Sandler playing a hard of hearing senior citizen and Daryl Hammond playing Sean Connery on celebrity Jeopardy during an SNL skit. I tried to muffle the phone with all things a sock (it was all I had). That didnt work. The kids must have heard right through it. I really just wanted to get off the phone. My mom took the phone back and said goodbye. But instead of saying goodbye to Santa she said goodbye to Uncle Seanie. At that moment you might as well have handed me the detonator to Disney World. My mom the eternal optimist told me that the kids still believe in Santa and that they didn't catch on, but I know they know. They probably know I know but maybe no one will say anything and we'll all go about opening our gifts the day after Christmas. At least I'll smile knowing that I got a good night's sleep and that if they did buy it then they'll think Santa sounds like Sean Connery. Vanessa caught it all on tape of course so it will be a blast to watch a few years from now.

Private Eyes

2008-11-09T13:50:00.009-04:00

The title is a partially a shout out to one of my wife's favorite bands growing up. By the way, I saw on TV that Oats singing the National Anthem at some event and I got scared for the safety of his counterpart Hall. But the title isn't an Ode to the duo, but something much more concerning. I wanted to let you in on a little secret. As of today, you're being watched. Don't look behind you, but more closely at the apparatus you're using to read this. Someone is watching you right now and has been watching you for a long time, especially while you're online surfing around to all those websites (we'll keep that between you and me). We all probably knew this for awhile now, but I didn't really know how easy it was to commence this tracking until I started asking myself a question. I said "Self, who's looking at my blog?" I'm not so worried about getting a bunch of hits from adoring fans but more concerned about those folks that enjoy messing with other people's websites. Blogspot didn't seem to have any tools other than a HIT COUNT that showed how many times my website was visited. I wanted something more robust and transparent for my blog. A quick search on Google yielded a tool that I easily added to this blog to tell me about how many visits I've received, where the visitors are from geographically, how long they've been on the site and all sorts of other things that I haven't even found yet. It was so easy to find and install that I have to believe that its being used by numerous vendors and users out there that rely on people visiting their websites. Did I also mention that this tracking software is FREE. It's really a brave new world. So now I have to imagine that Blogspot has a tracker that tracks when I log on to the website and I have a tracker that tracks my users. And then Google has a tracker that tracks both Blogspot and my blog. Its kind of like two mirrors that are facing each other so you get the infinite reflection. Weird.
I shouldn't really blame Google. It's not always their website that I go to, but its usually where my web search starts. As I sit here rebuilding a friend's PC I'm scouring the Internet searching for what services are good and bad for this computer, what the redundant error message means, and what is the best free anti-virus software out there so this doesn't happen again (AVG). Google knows this, because I'm searching through it. Not only do I "Google" the web I also "Google" my own computer for files and emails that I stored and forgot about years ago using Google Desktop Search. Finding email is probably the best use for the Google Desktop. I use it at least 2-3 times a day to find old emails that I have to refer to. I get anxious having so many messages in my inbox and I judge my efficiency based on the cleanliness of my inbox (30 is optimal, 40 is usual) so I delete as often as possible. Of course, I get asked about sent and received emails all the time so the ability to search is clutch as the kids say these days. Thanks Google for making these and other tools that I rely on to navigate through the murky Internet waters. Of course, everything is a double edged sword which leads me to my ponderance. Is Google virtuous technology or the beginning of the end of our privacy?
The argument makes me think about all those people that get busted cheating on their spouse when their toll records are tracked down by some savvy Magnum PI type and with the help of the EZ Pass toll records can tell that they were in Poughkeepsie when they should have been in Passaic. Or the folks that get upset about Tivo tracking their TV viewing habits and privacy rights groups decry that all the GPS devices could be an invasion of privacy. To that I say, if you arent doing anything wrong, who cares? All this technology comes at a price and if you don't want to save time at the toll booths then make the choice not to use the EZ Pass and don't be afraid to miss an Episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" while you're watching "Gossip Girl."
I don't know if there's a flip side to this argument. I guess we could ask that websites not track hits to its website for sales purposes but wouldn't it just be like getting mad at Exxon for making money? Technology keeps marching forward and just drags us behind like the Griswold family dog in "National Lampoon's Vacation". Google just makes life too easy to go without it. But similar to the radar detector companies being the same company that makes the radar guns, Google offers the ability in its new browser "Chrome" to search in anonymous mode. Google says that this type of web browser should allow you to be invisible on the Internet. I'll have to give it a try to see if it keeps me invisible when browsing this blog. All I can say is that I really need to find a business where I sell the problem and the cure. I bet Hall and Oats would work with me.

That's Random

2008-11-01T12:53:00.007-03:00

I thought I would back off the ranting of the past few posts and hit a few random topics. But first I had a few updates on some past posts.
In my post a few weeks ago about Cliches (You Can Say That Again) I forgot about a few other popular cliches that I keep running into whenever I listen to the news or read anything in the paper these days. I keep hearing about the "Perfect Storm." The mix of economic conditions, housing downturn and the price of oil have acted as a "Perfect Storm" to bring America down. It would be fine to leave it at that, but its been getting downright obnoxious. Everything is grouped into a Perfect Storm now as to why things are so bad. The weather along with my back pain and extra work have acted as a Perfect Storm to limit my running. The sauce mixed with the cheese and dough have acted as a perfect storm in my pizza. My question; Is there an Imperfect Storm? I've heard of a disorganized storm but let's not do that thing where we assign weather like qualities to how we feel. I'm sure it's called something but I can't Google one more thing today.
I also heard another good one that can be used if you don't feel one way or the other about things. "We're/I'm Switzerland" as in "How do you feel about gun control?" "I'm Switzerland." What a conversation killer.
In further recognition of how far ahead of the curve I am in my affinity toward the library (from the post "Dewey know what we mean?") Esquire magazine just endorsed the library in their November issue of things they endorse along with deserts, the two week vacation and Halle Berry (my wife wonders if she made a deal with the devil). I won't be seeking monetary compensation for dropping the idea since I stole it from someone else. The "no original thought train" rolls on. Add one more plus to the library-its the cool/only place to go vote. The line was huge today and Vanessa and I were amazed at how long it actually took to vote. The whole work flow was screaming for improved efficiency. I thought about this as Vanessa and I took numbers a la the Deli Counter at the grocery store and colored in the circles a la grade school proficiency exam. I think this could be a huge turn out this year, but am I just at that age where "everyone" I know is voting? Maybe I wouldn't give a hoot if I were just 18. And I certainly wouldn't be using the word "hoot" if I was 18.
I want to send out a HUGE Congratulations to my friends Mel and Shaun as they welcome their new addition, Luke to their family. In another sign of the times I found out about Mel going into labor through a voice text message. I like the voice text because you only get 10 seconds to get your thoughts out and you have to be really clever but it also saves your thumbs from texting. I get plenty of flack from my wife Vanessa about it since she wonders why I don't just call the person, but her annoyance adds to the entertainment a little. The voice text was classic Mel and Shaun and extremely convenient since they probably had other things going on. Hats off to Mel for having such a positive demeanor while leaving me the message, she could have been on vacation for all I knew.
I've gotten the feeling that a few people are already blogging out there (approximately 113 million based on a quick Internet search) so I'll spare everyone the self deprecating comments about how no one reads my blog. Its certainly been a temptation to mention this over my first few posts, but I'm going to go against the urge and be thankful that its so easy to start and maintain an online journal-its just good technology. In deciding to blog the only thing on my mind is if I would enjoy writing something every week, not how many people would read it. It certainly helps my creative writing skills and provides a certainly level of therapy. As a side benefit I think its fantastic that my father-in-law in Brooklyn can sit back and laugh at his son-in-law while my buddy in Morgantown can give commentary (Thanks for the comments Rallo). I'm not trying to make life tougher for the real journalists out there but just like Paris Hilton and American Idol contestants, its nice to be given visibility even if you don't have any real talent.

Run Forest Run!

2008-10-12T12:03:00.005-03:00

Over the last five years I've run in some pretty geographically diverse areas of the country and without fail there's always something that irks me about drivers (I include myself in this group when I'm in this role). I don't know if people just don't know how to drive around runners or if they're just too distracted by other things such as their cell phones, text messages, passengers, other cars. There could be umpteen different things distracting today's driver but I would hope that the sight of a helpless, floundering runner would get their attention and keep them focused on not interacting with that runner in a harmful way. I'd like to give people the benefit of the doubt on this one, so I'll just assume that drivers don't know how to drive around runners (I'll probably include bicyclists in this as well, but that's for a different post).
Time spent running is also time spent pondering. Not all the pondering makes sense, but when I'm really suffering out on the road and frustrated by my automated counterparts I think about what I would sit down and write to the local newspaper of the town where I'm running in the hopes that I could educate the driver to the plight of the runner. It would probably read something like this:
To Whom it may Concern;
There are a few things I wanted to bring to everyone's attention here in (Insert Town). As I ran through (Insert park or street or neighborhood) there were a few things I wanted to point out to hopefully make your lives easier when you see us runners out on the roads. First off, please don't yell at us, whether it be positive or negative. If you're saying "good job" or "go spit" it all comes out as "gggggssssssspppp" and trails off into the distance. I can't hear you over my own heaving and hacking so save yourself the breath and me the need to translate. While we're talking about cheering and jeering, "Run Forrest Run" is both old and cliched. If you really want to anger a runner, yell out this old crotchety phrase. All that tells me is that you haven't run a day in your life and you're probably just trying to impress your buddy whose riding along next to you with your limited Tom Hanks knowledge. Its annoying so please stop it. Again, you could just say "Nice job" or "Hang tough" but again, we cant hear it so just ignore us. The honking, hand gestures, trash throwing, and attempted swerving is distracting and downright dangerous so please stop it. Again, I'm amazed at how many drivers of the male persuasion do this, especially while riding together. If you really want to show how tough you are, why don't you get out of your car and run a few miles with me. Now, that would impress me. I've hardly ever seen a group of women or families pull any of these stunts. Also, (If a town in Florida) We're not deer or armadillos so why the confused looks? We're not taking up much space on the road so please just let us be and let us suffer in silence. I also don't understand why you have to turn on your high beams when coming at a runner at night. We can see you just fine already, blinding us will not make anyone's life any easier. In fact you'll probably just see us get disoriented and fall in a ditch. Keep the high beams off.
Yes, we're probably a funny bunch to you all. Even in 2008 fashion is tough to come by. You may see us with backpacks, headlamps and the ever hated short shorts. It's almost never for fashion (obviously) but more for function. While I'm out running I need liquid, especially here in Florida, and my camelback backpack makes that possible. No, its not the next generation of beer hat, but that's not a bad idea now that I think of it. My headlamp probably gets the most looks. No, I'm not mining for gold (where would I hold it) and yes, I think it looks completely ridiculous. But daylight is at a premium especially in the winter so I'd rather see and be seen, then get jumped by an alligator or get carried away by one of those huge dragonflies. Its really a sad statement when I have to contemplate turning off my headlamp because I think drivers are using the light as a way to spot me up before tossing their empty beer bottle at me.
Honestly, you don't want to make us runners angry. Its not because we'll beat you up. We probably cant do a thing to you since we're pretty slight and scrawny. But much like cow manure for a garden we're good for you and your quaint little town. We're usually pretty hard workers and are pretty successful. We'll stimulate the economy since we have good jobs. We like to eat-we're always hungry so we'll be spending money at your restaurants. Overall we're very much minimalists and don't need much attention, but overall we're a friendly lot. We're not an overly aggressive bunch. We don't smoke and we're pretty patient. We're not like plants that will eat up CO2 and product oxygen, but we certainly bring more people to the community. When I see a lot of people outside in a town it incurs a feeling of safety, health and vitality. Don't you want that here in (Insert Town)? Good, I'm glad we had this talk.

You Can Say That Again

2008-10-12T11:00:00.009-03:00

I've really come to hate cliches. I hear them all the time and I'm guilty of using them more than I'd care to admit. I think I've had complete discussions at work that had nothing more than a bunch of cliches in it. I think it was Tom Cruise in "A Few Good Men" that spoke to the newsstand owner in just cliche's as an inside joke that really stuck with me. I cringe to think about all those years spent at a liberal arts school where the educators there stressed original thought and how its been basically wiped out by the working world. The professional environment has its own set of cliches that are even more refined as you get into specific areas of business. I've really grown to loathe this subset of cliche's more than I loathe a comeback by Britney Spears (Is dogging her a cliche?). Here's a discussion that you could hear right in my very own office between two co-workers to demonstrate what I'm referring to-

Co-worker 1(Picking up the phone): Hey buddy, what's going on?
Co-worker 2: Not too much. Hey did you understand the spreadsheet we got?
Co-worker 1: I had a few questions about it
(Minimal cliches so far, but watch this)
Co-worker 2: Yeah, basically we need to capitalize on this "low hanging fruit" to pick up those that aren't just looking for "end to end" solutions but also those that are looking for "Best of Breed" applications.
Co-worker 1: Yeah, this is about "As clear as mud." I don't think we've "learned from our mistakes." We're in a "vicious cycle" here.
Co-Worker 2: Look it over some more and "Fire away" with any other questions you might have. Remember that other companies are also "on the ball" to be "First to market" we cant just be the "herd of sheep." We have to be "super premium" (Boston Cliche)
Co-worker 1: Yeah, unfortunately, we're the Wal-Mart of our market space but you're right a "Rolling Stone gathers no moss" (I might not have said that last part, but I could have. I feel that I created the Wal-Mart metaphor so Im keeping that one out of quotes)
Co-worker 2: Stay Premium (there it is again).

Now maybe I'm overusing the term cliche. Maybe some people don't see these terms as being cliches. I could add the definition of cliche very easily to this blog, but I think that's cliche so I'm not going to do it. To me, any unoriginal phrase or term could be conceived as a cliche and I'm against it. But now to reality, and here again I blame the working world for our reliance on email and the need for quick communication. I don't have time to write flowery emails or leave long winded creative voicemail messages-I'm paid to get to the point. "Shoot me a call when you get a second" goes the subject line of my email. I cant even spare the time to write "Call Me" and then add "I wanted to ask you about the training class in November" in the body of the email. Nope, its all about speed and unoriginality. The cliches have come in handy during some pressure packed meetings where you're put on the spot, but wouldn't it be great to break out some articulate explanation about the training plan that you've just created rather than saying "It's going to be tough, we cant be everything to everyone." I haven't even touched on the acronyms that the kids are using these days "LOL", "BFF", "IMHO" its the next iteration of cliches. I see those in communications and I just cringe. I tried using these phrases and I see their place but it just seems wrong. Some would say "You need to add these because people cant always detect your tone in an email." Well I wonder if that's because the person isn't articulate enough to add context to what they're writing.

I'll "get off my soap box" now.

Dewey know what we mean?

2008-10-05T17:25:00.005-03:00

Ive never given the library enough credit, but I can say Ive always appreciated it. As a child it was a great place to test my reading skills. In high school it was a haven from the stuffy study halls rife with its "No Talking" policies. The college library left me with fond memories of cramming for the following week's exams on Sundays after long runs and big breakfasts at the cafeteria. I think books have a soothing appeal to them. Its partially the reason that I'd like to build a book shelf in my bathroom, but that's getting a bit too personal. Anyway, I forgot about the library a few years ago for one reason or another. Maybe it was the hype of the Internet or these high powered retailers sucking people into their stores with promises of great deals, coffee and Internet access. It was all so appealing and cool. It made for something to do and you didn't seem like a sped (I assume that's how its spelled) kind of like hanging out with your parents as a kid. But then, just like getting older, you get wise to the world and realize that the stodgy old library is just as good as the other big box retailers in the search for the written word. And its better because its free. It may not be glamorous, the pages may be dog eared and worn and you may not have that cool sticker on the front of your hardback that says "Additional 20% off" but who cares-the book isn't any better or worse because you paid for it. And once you're done you return it. I'm by no means a voracious reader or one who needs to re-read books over and over again. So buying a book is a bit wasteful for me. I read it once, and never plan on opening it again. I'd rather lend the book to someone else or give it back. It was when that realization hit me a few months ago that I realized, the library is the place for me. Do they still exist? Do I have one in my area? I have to go there and see whats going on.
As the saying goes, "Its not the sizzle, its the steak" and nowhere is it more true than the library. Its very apparent that the library does not see itself as competition with the big book stores out there. Nowhere is this more evident than when trying to search for the book of your choice. This leads me to the title of this blog and underscores the biggest issue I have with the library. I don't have anything against Mr. Dewey and his ingenious system, but come on! Its 2008 and almost 20 years since the start of the Internet. The Internet was made for searching for "stuff" and book stuff is exactly what the Internet could be used for. Searching for music is even more confusing. When asking about how the music section is sorted I was told that its sorted based on how the library receives new music. The newer music is toward the front of the row, thus the older music is toward the back. Maybe this is how my father sorted his records or at least that was my last guess when I couldn't figure out that Cream was right next to Iron Butterfly which was right next to Arlo Guthrie. Who knows. All I know is that if I find something at the library I'm very lucky to find it, and maybe that's part of the joy of getting a book from the library. Its that feeling of accomplishment. Its how you played by the rules and came out on the other side with your prize in hand.
If it weren't for the library I would still be learning Spanish (incorrect Spanish mind you) from my CD's. Thanks to the library, I was able to procure a better, more professional set of Spanish lessons. Of course, I had to wade through the mix of vinyl and cassette lessons to get me to the newer offerings on CD. My local library didn't have such offerings, but here's the beauty of the library; They ordered it for me from another library. The lessons on CD were in my possession in the next week as well as a copy of Nickelback's latest offering and Boyz N' Tha Hood (Vanessa wanted to see it). If loving the library is wrong, I don't want to be right.
As an FYI, the library recently updated their online search system. A lot of people panned it for not working correctly and the workers even seemed a bit miffed by the new system. I heard them blaming errors and problems on the new system which always annoys me since I work in the software world. Ive used the system and thought that while its a good upgrade, it still only gets the Volusia county library into the mid 90's.

Entiendo Espanol?

2008-09-21T10:51:00.000-03:00

After six years of being in the dark while my in-laws spoke with my wife in their native tongue (Spanish), I've decided to bite the bullet and learn another language. I was certainly no All Star in the languages prior to this project. I would often find the path of least resistance in high school and college. I would make sure I quickly memorized the equivalent of "I dont know" in the given language unit and then use the heck out of it. College was no better, and when forced into a language thanks to the well rounded liberal arts tradition, I chose german. I learned clever phrases such as "I collect dolls" (Ich konnen puppen) and the usual insult phrases that unfortunately are still with me. I also had the "Ich weiss nicht" (I know not) ready to go at all times. To pass the final exam in German I may have crossed paths with someone who took the exam on the prior day and had some helpful tips-one of them being, that the terms I knew above would not help me. So I made my way through German, got the solid B, and got the heck out of Deutschland.
Fast forward to 2002. Boy meets girl. Girl speaks spanish. Girl's entire family speaks spanish. Girl's family takes the gringo to their favorite restaurant where everyone speaks spanish. Boy sits back and realizes that he may have chosen poorly in his language selection....but hey that squid in ink sauce is exquisite.
I don't think I delayed or put off learning spanish on purpose. It just got away from me. We all get busy doing other things and next thing you know, its been six years and all you've learned about spanish is how to say-I dont know (no se) and what you've picked up from your 4 year old nephew that knows more spanish now then you'll ever hope to know. "Hey Cristian, what's this?" "Oh, platano...uh, great job man-here's an animal cracker."
So its time. Im going to join the bilingual fraternity and break out of my isolationist uni-language mentality. If Michael Phelps can learn Mandarin I can learn a little spanish. I started my road to bilinguality with a Spanish CD for my birthday in July. I didnt expect much, but it was easy. Im on my computer almost all day anway, so it doesnt hurt to take a break and get my learn on. What I quickly found was that learning all the colors, clothes, numbers and basic phrases in the world isnt going to do me any good unless I can put it together. I probably need to know the answer once I ask Donde esta el banjo? Or at least know if the bathroom is out of service due to a clogged toilet or not available. Besides, its probably a slight to spanish speakers when some chump uses all those hackneyed phrases (Muchos Grass-ee-ass) but then uses english the rest of the time. No, I have to make an honest go at this. Plus, I think I saw some errors or mistakes on those CD's that were verified by my wonderful wife. So I decided to take the next leap and visit a place not visited in years....the library.

Next post: The Death of the Dewey Decimal System

Its About That Time

2008-09-15T23:14:00.001-03:00

I cant really say I know what Im doing, but I thought I would just give this a shot to see how easy it would be to get one of these here blogs going. I was waiting for the last screen asking me for my credit card information but it never came...at least not yet. I think Im trying to prove to myself that Im not old yet, or at least not middle age. So I pulled myself up off the floor, told my wife to hold off on the dice roll (I want to make sure she doesnt land on Ventnor) and did my search for an "easy" Blog. If this goes well, I might actually put something worthwhile up here. Or, maybe I'll just rant and rave about the good old days. For now, its back to doing the dishes, and if Im lucky, I'll get to bed by 10:30pm.